Friends

What does it take to be a friend, what are the requirements? I'm sure it's different for everyone, but I'm also certain there are some basic requirements. Whatever they are, I know that I do not fulfill them very well, more likely I'm about as far from the needs as a person can get.

Unfortunately, when someone has a disability, they usually have few friends that don't share similar disabilities. The more severe and obvious the difference is from the "normal individual," the worse the situation becomes. Growing up, I had very few people, not including relatives and people I had no choice to be with, that I would call friends, mainly just one through grade school and junior high.

His father worked with mine and he lived only a few houses away on our dead end street. At first, he was forced to come over by his parents, but we did find similar interests, as most young boys do, and we remained friends for several years. In late junior high and high school though, we had different interests and grew further apart. He and his wife now live about an hour away, and we do see each other on occasion, but mainly just by happening to be doing the same thing at the same time.

During the time this first friend and I were starting to go our separate ways, another boy and I were starting to become friends. Tom's family moved to town when we were in late junior high. Since we went to the same church, school, and were only a year apart, we found ourselves sharing space frequently. Especially in high school though, we both developed our interest in technology, and loved seeing my mom come home to the family computer in many pieces with us "fixing" it.

Also in high school, I had my harem, as the principal called my group of female friends I hung out with. Most of them were regulars on the honor role and I could usually act like it, and I actually did get there a few times in college. One of these ladies was the one I prayed that God had planned as my soulmate, but that proved to be wrong as she met her husband in college. As I still have some feelings for her, I don't ever see her, or any of my harem, not that it has been more than a decade since high school.

Tom and I still get together frequently, usually 2-3 times a week, or when his wife allows is more accurate. Unfortunately, he lives half a country away, and has no intention to ever return to Iowa. He and I play an online game called Starcraft, one that we started playing together in high school. While it is fun, this is all we now do together. I have him on my staff with my company as well, but mainly as needed, and that can be more often than not. Tom and I have been friends for years, but I feel like I'm not doing my part to maintain the relationship, that we are growing further apart.

There are other people my age, relatively speaking at least, that I converse with, but all are fellow gimps, a couple exactly like me. These people I consider more friends by necessity, not ones I think we would make if our situations were different.

So, here I sit on a Sunday evening with my IM program open, six people listed, but none online or talking. For those I do talk to, I want to work toward being a better friend this year. I'm not very sure how to do that yet, but hopefully it's easier than I think.

2012

We're just over a week into 2012, how has your year been going so far? I can't mine has been all that out of the ordinary. On New Year's Eve though, I did have a bit of a victory, I was actually allowed to go barefoot during our celebration! In some ways it kind of felt weird, being the only barefoot person there, but I reminded myself that is what bare footers generally experience, and there wasn't any reason not to be barefoot. However, I only got away with it by agreeing to a comprise.

The next Saturday, so two days ago, we had a party of sorts for my grandpa's, mom's father, 84th birthday. Since it was mom's side of the family, I had to wear shoes then. I had somewhat planned on it anyway, but mom didn't need to know that. So, a victory of sorts, but not one that I see lasting unfortunately.

For most of my life, I have been surrounded by medical people and a lot of various items that go along with day to day living as a quadriplegic. Due to these reasons, I have a booklet that describes in detail how to do my multitude of cares. The current instruction set was last updated when I was in my late years of high school, so, due to some asking by my current caregivers, I started to redo my book last week. The current version is 13 pages long, I'm now up to 30 pages on the new version.

I realized that things were changing with age, but you don't fully grasp it until you put it down on paper. In some ways, it's partially me being more thorough and knowing the problems I have with some of these routines, and what some nurses come up with. Now that I'm nearly complete, I wonder what I'm missing and new items will come up after training someone with it.

A few hours ago, tomorrow's day nurse called in that she was sick and the backup lady can't cover it, so it will be the first shift of the new year without coverage. The weather this winter has been very nice and warm, for Iowa at least, so it has been nice not having calls off for snow or ice. Last week I even went running errands in just flip-flops, and barefoot outside! If I had a bucket list, that would likely be an item I could cross off, go barefoot outside in January in Iowa.

For about three years now, I've been doing the reading plans on Bible Gateway. It's pretty simple, pick a plan and you will read through the entire Bible in a year. During the last two years, I have been reading through with a fellow quad friend from Florida. It has been interesting working through his questions and seeing the Bible, something I'm very familiar with, through new eyes. This year we decided to just do the New Testament as he, and I, want to look more in-depth at that section of scripture. It has been nice only reading one, or less, chapter each morning instead of three to four, but I'm not sure I'm getting much out of it yet. The later books will likely be more learning, but I haven't got my head into the shorter reading I guess.

In my last post a few weeks ago, I was working on getting my diaphragm pacemaker fixed, well I'm still working on it. Finally today the referral paperwork went through, so now I'm waiting for approval from insurance before I can make an appointment. I'm nearing a month now that I haven't been breathing, so hopefully it will be fixed soon.

Until next time.