Friends

What does it take to be a friend, what are the requirements? I'm sure it's different for everyone, but I'm also certain there are some basic requirements. Whatever they are, I know that I do not fulfill them very well, more likely I'm about as far from the needs as a person can get.

Unfortunately, when someone has a disability, they usually have few friends that don't share similar disabilities. The more severe and obvious the difference is from the "normal individual," the worse the situation becomes. Growing up, I had very few people, not including relatives and people I had no choice to be with, that I would call friends, mainly just one through grade school and junior high.

His father worked with mine and he lived only a few houses away on our dead end street. At first, he was forced to come over by his parents, but we did find similar interests, as most young boys do, and we remained friends for several years. In late junior high and high school though, we had different interests and grew further apart. He and his wife now live about an hour away, and we do see each other on occasion, but mainly just by happening to be doing the same thing at the same time.

During the time this first friend and I were starting to go our separate ways, another boy and I were starting to become friends. Tom's family moved to town when we were in late junior high. Since we went to the same church, school, and were only a year apart, we found ourselves sharing space frequently. Especially in high school though, we both developed our interest in technology, and loved seeing my mom come home to the family computer in many pieces with us "fixing" it.

Also in high school, I had my harem, as the principal called my group of female friends I hung out with. Most of them were regulars on the honor role and I could usually act like it, and I actually did get there a few times in college. One of these ladies was the one I prayed that God had planned as my soulmate, but that proved to be wrong as she met her husband in college. As I still have some feelings for her, I don't ever see her, or any of my harem, not that it has been more than a decade since high school.

Tom and I still get together frequently, usually 2-3 times a week, or when his wife allows is more accurate. Unfortunately, he lives half a country away, and has no intention to ever return to Iowa. He and I play an online game called Starcraft, one that we started playing together in high school. While it is fun, this is all we now do together. I have him on my staff with my company as well, but mainly as needed, and that can be more often than not. Tom and I have been friends for years, but I feel like I'm not doing my part to maintain the relationship, that we are growing further apart.

There are other people my age, relatively speaking at least, that I converse with, but all are fellow gimps, a couple exactly like me. These people I consider more friends by necessity, not ones I think we would make if our situations were different.

So, here I sit on a Sunday evening with my IM program open, six people listed, but none online or talking. For those I do talk to, I want to work toward being a better friend this year. I'm not very sure how to do that yet, but hopefully it's easier than I think.