Years

In less than 48 hours, 2010 will be complete and the new year start again. This past week I completed my annual review of the year and gave brief descriptions of different activities. My friends and family enjoy it, but in some ways it's disappointing as well.

Every year, there seems to be so much more I could, and probably should, have done. I imagine many of us feel that way though. For me, it's mainly feeling like I hold myself my back. More calls or emails could have been done for possibly more business. I could have contacted more schools to give talks at, and used my funds to help those around me as well as people with limited means.

I can hear the question now, "Aren't you the guy that can't move, or even breath on his own?" Yes, that's true, but why does that matter? We've been given technology that helps persons like me overcome these problems. Therefore, not having control over your body isn't a reason to get lazy, or not push toward goals.

As we enter another year, many people make resolutions of various types. For 2011, I think my goal will be to let very few opportunities pass, and work to fully use the abilities and knowledge God has given me. Maybe the review for 2011 will be six pages instead of this year's three.

Technology

As a vent dependent quadriplegic, I rely on technology for every breath I get. Whether it is from a ventilator, or my new diaphragm pacing system, technology is involved in some form. As a web developer, I also use technology for work, it's also required for people to view my work.

Last week, my computer started acting up, freezing unexpectedly due to screen problems. As any geek would, I attempted to isolate the problems and work so as not to have them occur. Unfortunately, this only worked for a few days, and Wednesday night, while having supper, the computer froze while simply running the screensaver. Attempting to restart it on Thursday was not successful either.

Therefore, a trip to the Apple store was needed to start the fixing process. Thankfully, one of my assistants was going there today with her family and was willing to drop it off. In the mean time, while my primary computer is is the shop, I'm using my backup computer, about a five-year-old laptop.

I'm thankful that I have been able to get these resources, and that I was given information about an online backup service that has allowed me to continue working. Getting used to this computer's quirks and older technology has taken some adjusting, but I'm grateful to have the option.

As for the other pieces of technology I depend on, thankfully God has provided engineers that make them very reliable. No engineer can fully duplicate God's design of the human body, but for those of us that need alternatives, He has provided a way.

DPS

A little over a week ago, I had surgery in Chicago. Surgery was to implant electrodes in my diaphragm to allow for the diaphragm pacemaker system by Synapse Biomedical. Since then, I have made good progress in switching from the ventilator to it, or pacing as it's called.

After 25 years of using a ventilator, breathing via my nose and diaphragm is a very different experience. It's great being able to smell and not have the constant noise of the ventilator around. When I go without tubes, I love being able to look down at this body I have and just see me.

Talking is different while pacing though. I'm used to being able to continuously speak without hesitation and not need to wait for air. While pacing, I can keep my breath as long as I want and talk, but I haven't mastered talking while inhaling. Granted, I've basically had a week's practice, but it's an item I'll need to work on.

I have figured that if I increase three hours per week, I'll be off the vent during the day by the end of 2010. It's an ambitious goal, but one I want to work toward. Yesterday, I did go over three hours total and am very close today in early evening. We'll see if I can keep up the pace for the several weeks and if I can meet my goal.

Kids

It's not a secret, I have it posted on my web site, that I think all kids should be barefoot at all times. Today, I came across this post on a blog about a kid who went barefoot. It's unfortunate excuses must be made for his footwear, or lack of. I'm glad to see that he did go dressed as he wished, but more kids, such as his brother, should take after him.

Others' Ideas

It's another one of those days. Last week, when balancing my business check book, we found it in a state of mass confusion. To me, a check book is a simple thing; write deposits and expenditures at the end and balance every month. In regards to a business check book, deposits are recorded as one sum, not each individual payment.

Unfortunately, even after going through these basics, my assistants still don't get it right. I don't like checking everything they do as it builds distrust and says that they're incompetent. However, I do not see a different way that I can handle these basic tasks without much more supervision.

Sigh, the next few days will be a change from routine, and hopefully relieve some stress that my family is having.

Life

The life of a quadriplegic is sometimes difficult. No, it's quite often difficult, just in varying degrees.

A few hours ago, the nursing agency called to inform us that the night nurse scheduled was sick and they wouldn't have a replacement. Dad went on for a few minutes on "how can nurses be sick so often," but thankfully not long. The rounds of calling went on with me getting one of my other assistants to cover until 2:00am.

The original plan was to have Grandma VM come in after that, but dad said no. Late supper then had mom and dad discussing who would get up when. What may be a bad idea, dad firmly decided he would get up at 2:00, for all day.

Not being able to help yourself, or breathe independently, requires help from others. Like it or not, there isn't anything you can do to change it. Nights like these are hard, but best to remember Jeremiah 29:11, and to ask for this burden to be taken as well.

Slow Month

Today is the 22nd of October, the month is nearing completion, and I've had very little work for VMT. In early October, I sent out a newsletter to potential clients that had contacted me and a bonus offer for referral from existing clients.

I'm aware that we're in a poor economy, but it sounds like other web businesses are remaining busy. Also in the last month, I started working with Brian Berry from Calm Chess Computers and bid on jobs at elance.com. To date, none have been won, only rejections.

It sounds like The Write Place may have some projects coming up, so that will be a nice change. Hopefully business will pick up soon. I'm thankful for what I've been given, and pray it will continue.

Hello world. I'm restarting this blog from about a year ago. We'll see how much attention it gets, but I may surprise myself.