February Breathing

I seem to be averaging about one post a month this year, I guess it's somewhat of a schedule to keep to. A blog I used to follow, that also followed me, was taken down a while ago by the owner. Without seeing it and how long it has been since my last post, I don't get reminded as often tho come here.

It's the day after Valentine's Day, that means in another five days, it will be 28 years since I became a quad. A lot has happened in these years, more than I can remember, or sometimes care to remember. The thought of writing a book has been circulating in my mind more along with thinking of the journey God has brought me through. It has not always been a pleasant, or easy, journey, but definitely unique to the life I've been given.

In the past few months, I have been increasing my time on the pacer again and am now going to 5:00 in the morning. I often switch back to it around 7:30-8:00, so I'm getting close to being on it 24/7. I'm somewhat excited to get off the vent completely, but nervous at the same time. The vent is somewhat of a comfort, a familiar item, while my diaphragm pacemaker is still a novelty, even after two years. There are times at night I wake up and think something is wrong with the vent, but it's just that I breathe differently on the DPS. I also have an idea of what amputees call a phantom limb now. A few times, it has felt like my vent tube was pulling on my trach funny, but I didn't have a tube on. Just like you have your limbs all your life, hopefully, I've had tubes long enough that my mind is used to them.

Mid-February also means it's time to start looking ahead to the next few months. I have mailed the schools I plan to speak to this year and am waiting to hear back. This will be the first year I use pictures of when I was on the vent to show the change. It may be a benefit or a distraction, I will have to determine how it goes. I also went ahead and applied to be a counselor at CHAMP Camp this year.

For camp, I haven't quite decided how I'm feeling about it. With missing last year, I'm kind of out of the loop with last year's new kids and activities. I'm looking forward to seeing everyone again, but also concerned about being up so much. June is four months away though, so a lot can change from now to then. See you, my non-existent readers, next time!