Final School

It has been a busy week of finishing and preparation. Tuesday was my last class for the year. It was a group of nine Occupational Therapy Assistant students who seemed to listen well. One in particular was very quiet and attentive (see picture).

OT students are very interested in all the different items I use to function. I discuss my wheelchair and different options as well as how I use mouth sticks and what type works for different needs. In class, they don't get a lot of real-life experience, especially with all the equipment I use. My schedule one-hour presentation frequently turns into 90 minutes or more. I wonder how much they actually remember after I leave, but hopefully my presentation helps.

Thursday morning, I visited with my ENT about my trach button and nose. It looks like I may have infection again, so I'll see what results come from testing. For my nose, I hoped to get help for breathing at night. Unfortunately, nose cartilage keeps growing throughout your life and mine is growing crooked. Therefore, when it gets annoying enough, I'll need to have it surgically corrected. It wasn't the answer I wanted, but it was an answer.

Today, Father's Day, is the last day to relax. After six years of staying home, I'm finally planning to take an over night trip. I've been thankful for all dad's help in packing, checking the van, and making sure everything is ready for a road trip.

Dad continues to do so much for me in many ways and rarely gets to take a day off. He should be at least somewhat retired, but continues to work at least full-time to keep insurance. I look forward to when he can slow down and not have work responsibilities.

I will continue to see what the quad life brings and be thankful for who God has put around me.

Who Will Remember?

It is Memorial Day weekend, the time of remembering those who have fought and died for our country and honoring loved ones. Friday evening, I went with my parents to place flowers on my grandparents' graves. Sitting in the van, several thoughts came to mind.

In the first cemetery we visited, it has several grave markers from well over 100 years ago. This wasn't my first visit, but I noticed a change in a few of them. Markers that had been tilting, were now fallen over and a few sat in a pile in one corner. As I read a large, modern stone, I was surprised to see the couple listed died in 1895 and 1908. The children of these two have likely also died years ago, but someone obviously replaced their original monument.

On our second stop outside of small town Iowa, the cemetery was a flurry of activity and seemed to be the town gathering spot. Families were out dispersing flowers and small groups were huddled around talking. This memorial area does not have any century-old markers, that I noticed, but also had many more flowers and recognition.

Unless God has major changes for my future, I am the end of my family line. At some point in time, be it near or far, both my parents and I will be gone from this earth. As I noticed the old stones left unnoticed and degrading at the first cemetery, it will likely be the case for my marker after a few decades. While our bodies may decay and be forgotten, everyone will be living forever.

God knows every person that has lived, is living, and will be born. It's hard to conceive knowing billions of people, but He is present for each. After departing this life, we will spend eternity in either heaven or hell. We need to be sure to born again by repenting of sin and turning to Jesus alone for forgiveness. As we reflect on those gone before us, let us remember our time is approaching and to spend it serving God and His will.

Learning Hybrid Control

Last week, I had my annual visit to the dentist. The dental hygienist said everything looked good, but the dentist had a concern. After an x-ray, his thought was confirmed that one of my front teeth is absorbing the root. This is the same thing that happened in 2019 when I finally ended up with an implant in spring 2020.

For now, all is fine as I'm not having any pain. However, I'll likely need more intervention by next year if nothing changes. The doctor said my tooth problem is probably due to decades of using my mouth stick and having extra wear. Therefore, I've taken up a project to learn a hybrid approach for computer control.

Apple computer's operating system has voice control built-in, I just haven't used it. After my appointment, I briefly read about the voice option and activated it. Since then, I have been attempting to use it for regular tasks and decrease my stick use.

So far, I've used it to open and close programs, some mouse work, and dictation. Programs have done pretty well, but some that I regularly use don't seem to register. Reading is easier as I can just say "scroll down" and it automatically moves. Dictation isn't as bad as I expected, but still not great.

Trying to learn voice software while doing school work is not the best idea. Saying short phrases are better, but not single words. Trying to delete words sometimes works, but I often resort to just correcting with my stick. 

An issue we're learning though is to pay attention to what I say. Using a voice monitor, my parents hear me say scroll down, they hear I need to go down. So, I'm trying to pronounce more clearly and ask for help with more volume. I also need to drink more, which causes other needs.

Living the quad life has unusual challenges. I hope this hybrid method will help my teeth, but I don't see me completely switching to voice, at least not yet.

Graduation Season

For most schools, the year is now complete and kids are free for the summer. Most students enjoy the break before moving up a year, but others have finished their school career.

I saw pictures, and video, of one of the campers from CHAMP Camp getting his high school diploma. I remember many summers of having being in his cabin and the multitude of pranks he helped initiate, and receive. It's great to see "Batman" move on to his next stage in life.

Yesterday, my parents and I went to a graduation party for my cousin's son. He is also a rail enthusiast and has many pictures, videos, and stories from watching trains in central Iowa. In many ways, he reminds me of myself in high school with trains on the brain. Unlike me, he plans to continue his rail interest as a career. Plans are to be a conductor with the Iowa Interstate railroad, at least for now.

Seeing graduates ignites my interest in learning again. I have been looking at a 12-week course on expository preaching. I hope to start it soon, but other factors, such as caregivers and required preaching assignments, need to be considered.

Unfortunately, many colleges and large universities have only become indoctrination centers for radical political agendas. Public high schools, and even grade schools, start the training well before students escape their walls.

Scripture reminds us that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge (Proverbs 1:7). Also, if we lack wisdom, we should ask God who gives generously (James 1:5). School in any form helps gain knowledge, but we need to always remember from where it comes.

I congratulate all recent graduates and pray they go on to serve God in whatever is next.

Healthiest in the Bunch?

Most weeks come and go without any big changes happening. Sometimes, you wonder what is going to come next. This last week was the second scenario with everything seeming to happen at once.

I am very blessed to have six primary caregivers and three that help on various schedules. As everyone ages, I have also been thankful that mostly everyone has stayed in good physical condition. Unfortunately, that can change quickly.

For my regular six helpers, three now have shoulder problems, one is having back trouble, and another has various challenges with age. The remaining three, one is leaving soon for summer break and only has limited availability. As sales commercials say, "But wait, there's more!"

After time in Hospice, my great aunt (grandmother's sister) passed away this week. Trying to coordinate how to get everyone to where they need to be and logistics has required careful planning. Just for fun, Iowa has also been having severe weather alerts. Friday night, mom and a friend went to a movie and had to spend time in the hallways due to tornado warnings. One of my web clients also had their site disappear and it took a fair amount of time and investigation to get it restored.

With all this, it can be easy to get anxious and worry about the future. However, it's time to remember that God said to be anxious for nothing (Philippians 4:6) and to not worry about tomorrow (Matthew 6:34). It doesn't mean to never make plans or do things get insurance. They remind us God is in control and to give everything to Him in prayer. When Job was allowed to be tested, he wanted to talk with God and get an explanation to his suffering. At the end, when Job did talk with God, he repented in dust and ashes (Job 42:6).

As another week starts, I look forward to seeing what God has in store and trusting Him for whatever comes.

Starting Another Year

In two days, I will start a new year of living the quad life. Looking back, this 38th year has had its highs and lows as well as times of learning.

One of the largest accomplishments was completing my autobiography and getting it published. I despise praising myself our saying I'm an example to follow. I am a fallen man and don't live as I should. However, I will gladly say what God has done in my life and how He uses every ability to serve Him.

With the accident anniversary this month, I have done two radio interviews and one television interview about my book. In all of them, I tried to make sure to point to God's glory and not my own. I wasn't fully successful, but it is was my goal. This year has also been a reason to remember God's Word.

In John 5, Jesus healed a man who had been "sick" for 38 years. The word sick is translated as infirmity, paralyzed, or sick depending on which translation you read. Whatever the exact term is, the man had a major physical ailment for 38 years. Jesus chose to heal him out of several others laying at the pool of Bethesda. He didn't know who Jesus was, let alone have faith in Him. After a confrontation with the Jewish leaders, the healed man had a second meeting with Jesus where He said to stop sinning to avoid a worse fate.

Living a large part of life with a physical ailment is hard, and I have learned this very well. As I recounted in my autobiography, looking only at problems resulted with me thinking life wasn't worth living. However, looking solely to God, we can see how He uses each person and that life is precious in His sight. As I now enter another year, I look forward to seeing what God brings me to do and how I can serve Him.

Room Update

Some people like decorating houses to keep up with the latest trends and modern looks. They may paint walls, rearrange furniture, or get new furniture to replace outdated styles. I am not one of those people by any means. My parents and I moved into our house 30 years ago when I was in Junior High. My locker wallpaper has long since been replaced and furniture updated, but less than other areas of the house. This week though, I did have an adjustment.

My room was originally designed so that my caregiver had a chair to the left of my bed, just a couple feet away. At some point, their chair moved to the other side of the room, about 15 feet away, and a large computer desk took up the same space. For a few years, some of my caregivers would use an old computer to browse the internet during down time, but that eventually faded away as well and the desk became a space for paperwork to be collected and processed as needed. It also took up a lot of space in my room.

After more than a year of debating on options, I got a new desk to replace the old one. It came in a box early this week and dad spent a few evenings dismantling the old structure, relocating its contents, and assembling the new desk. Now, it's sitting next to the wall beside me with most of the former desk's contents placed somewhere in or on it.

I may spend 4-5 hours a week outside my room, but that's even an exaggeration sometimes. Therefore, I'm very familiar with my surroundings. I'm getting used to the shorter desk and less stuff directly beside me and am starting to like it. The desk is a little larger than the space it's allotted though and covers a small section of my window. However, it is very minor and my caregivers are enjoying having more space to work with me.

It has only been a few days since the change and everyone is adjusting habits of where to lay equipment when using it on me and new storage locations. I don't think I'll be making further changes any time soon, but it is fun to have a slight redesign every decade or so.

A Year Done, Another Ahead

It is the last day of 2023, we have traveled around the sun and had some fun, as well as challenging times for all. Looking at 2024, some say it could be a year to abhor.

This past year, I was thankful to be able to return to using a trach button again and to finally produce my autobiography. For the most part, I also had nursing shifts covered with only one extended period without help. God has blessed my year again and allowed me to serve Him in various ways.

As with any future time period, we need to remember that God is in control, even though we may not understand why some things happen. However, we may give estimates on what will be in store for 2024.

I recently saw a report about low marriage rates and declining US population. That means jobs will continue to remain unfilled and as more people retire, openings will only increase. Therefore, we'll see more jobs turn to automation and even more self-checkouts at retailers.

It was almost four years ago, but 2020 should still be firm in most people's memory. However, some news media and commercials twist reality by saying things that happened weren't true. Such as being made to get a vaccine, or not work, and threats for those who didn't receive at least one. Now, it's starting to look like lock downs may happen again and even more restrictions for being in public.

In the US, it is a presidential election year. Already, one state has tried to fix the ballot by not allowing a current front-runner to be listed. If restrictions are put in place again, mailing ballots will be highly encouraged, which allows for easy manipulation.

For me, I have a few ideas in mind. Last week, I heard about a course I can take to improve my preaching. It is a college-level close from a school that does still adhere to the Bible. It's also affordable, so the main question is time requirement. I hope to be able to do the course, but just need to balance a few life options.

I'm also having more trouble with my back twisting, either due to physical problems or chair trouble. That needs to be another project to continue on with the new year.

As the quad life continues, I will plan to keep posting each week. May God bless your year ahead and remember to look to Him in whatever comes.

When is the End?

This week, Facebook officially decided to delete my accounts, both the one I've had for years and the new one I tried to make. The second account was cited as duplicate or fraudulent, even though I used a different name and email. My long standing account was deleted due to a reason I won't even write. To say the least, it was not something I did. Either my account was used by someone else, or the criteria for judging are very different than my understanding.

Therefore, with my free time away from social media, I have taken more time to watch some current news items. With Israel under attack, many people have wondered if we are now seeing the end times happening. My quick answer is yes we are, but also not really.

When Jesus ascended back to heaven, He said the end would be coming soon. Therefore, the end has been coming closer with every passing year, week, and even second. In that sense, yes we are living in the end times. The real question is, how far are we on the timeline?

Pretty much every generation has thought they would be the last one before Christ's return. Paul had to encourage some people in his time to go work because they were sitting around waiting for Jesus to come. It has been about 2,000 years since then and some still try to predict the exact time and day, only to get it wrong.

Several books of the Bible give warnings of what to watch for, and to be ready. Some of them include wars in Jerusalem, as well as earthquakes in various places, plagues, and people being deceived to the truth of God's Word. All of these exist, but they need to continue to get worse than they are today.

We are getting closer to Christ's return, and we always need to be ready by repenting of sin and trusting in Jesus alone for salvation, not by works. At some point, either our own end will come or Christ will return. Either way, let us continue to serve however we are enabled through whatever comes.

Surgery 25 Ahead

Living the quad life means I often require various medical treatments. Sometimes, more serious intervention is needed in the form of surgery. On Tuesday morning, I am finally scheduled for a procedure I've needed for a few months.

Looking back at my records, my last surgery was in 2012 to fix my broken femur. This upcoming appointment will be my 25th surgery. The goal is to get two large bladder stones removed that are each over an inch. They have been causing issues for a while and I'll be glad to get them eradicated.

As a veteran to surgical procedures, I'm very well aware of what to expect and how things go. The day prior to the appointment, I'll receive a call to verify the time to arrive. I will need to be at the hospital a full two hours before the surgery so I can primarily sit around and make sure paperwork is correct. However, I have already verified my medication list three times as well as my medical history.

Finally, after boredom has really sunk in, I get rolled back to the operating room. After I arrive, I have to verify my name, birth date, and what is being done. Thinking about it, I'm tempted to say something completely odd like head amputation and see what they say.

With more IVs hooked up, I finally get to take a nap. At first, I get a calm feeling followed by tunnel vision. The next thing I know, I'm in a different location and somewhat feel like I had a long night and don't want to get up. Thankfully, my head is usually clear and I can have fun with the recovery nurse.

As I currently know, I don't need to stay over night and will go home on Tuesday. It sounds like a minor procedure that shouldn't take long. However, after 11 years off, I don't know how my body has changed and how I will react. Whatever happens, I know God is in control and I look forward to being done with another surgery!

Continued Health Maintenance

I don't keep track, but it seems this year has had frequent health updates than any time before. I'm thankful they are relatively minor items and not major struggles like cancer, but they are persistent.

On Tuesday, I met with my ENT and discussed trach button updates. Unfortunately, it still has a tendency to sink in further than it should and drainage has again resumed. To help combat these issues, my doctor and I decided to try another button option that has a larger top. He placed the order with my regular supply company, and I received a call on Wednesday they can't get it. That means a search will be on to find a supplier, but another option should hopefully be available.

Thursday was an appointment with my dermatologist. He continues to monitor progress on my skin openings and prescribe different treatments. The area had a major setback in June, but it has been recovering since then. Unfortunately, the physician wasn't pleased to see the regression in progress since my last visit. A few changes were made to treatment and I am scheduled to see him again before winter hibernation.

Most of Saturday was again spent at my grandmother's house. Earlier this month, my parents and I visited to help start emptying the house as she moved to an apartment. Yesterday, most of my dad's family came to completely go through everything. Every surface was covered with contents from the kitchen cupboards, various drawers, and all rooms of the house. Piles were made for different destinations and a burn pile was already smoking by the time I arrived.

After nearly five hours, my uncles and aunts had cleaned out the basement, kitchen, and most rooms. Grandpa's toy collection still remained, until my cousin's children arrived. Toys that had been forbidden to play with were now up for grabs and soon multiple large boxes were overflowing with trucks and tractors that delighted great-grandchildren were devouring. A few said they planned to keep some in good shape, but others are not old enough to understand such concepts as collectibles.

Yesterday is likely the last time I'll have a wheel in my grandparent's farm house. With ongoing health concerns, it's a reminder of the progression of time and frailty of life. I will always have fond memories of parties at the farm with little room to move, but I know it will be something I miss for the week to come and whatever time I have in this world.

Toys Collection and Moving

It is Labor Day weekend, a time when families take one last trip before fully diving into school and the unofficial end to summer. Many people look forward to a break from labor, but my family has been laboring to get ready for this weekend.

My paternal grandfather died in 2019, just before Thanksgiving. Since then, grandma has remained living in their house out in the country. Recently, she looked at an apartment at a retirement home in town and decided it was time to move on Labor Day. Therefore, my family has been helping her go through the house she has lived in for nearly 60 years and decide what to take. Part of the process has also meant going through grandpa's things, including his toy collection.

Like most boys growing up in rural Iowa, I played with toy farm equipment and semis. Up through high school, I was in a competition with grandpa on who had what trucks. I had a few he didn't, but he also made sure I got a few special ones while they were still available. Of course, grandpa's collection far exceeded mine and nearly filled an entire room of their house. That room has hardly been touched since 2019, until now.

Dad and I looked through the expansive number of trucks and tractors that were on display. Several of them invoking memories of grandpa and our light-hearted competition. My uncles and cousins had taken a couple items already, and I picked about a dozen trucks to take. However, it hardly made a dent in the number that remain. I would gladly take any my family didn't want, but why?

Sometimes reality hits hard, and different seasons of life often do that. Since I don't have a family, I don't have children to pass memories down to. I am also limited on what funds I can have, so working on selling some items also wouldn't be good. However, the house itself is also a memory and reminder.

Just a few miles out of town, and a nice distance from the main road, it's an ideal location. I would love to be able to move in, live in the country, and help at the farm. Next weekend, grandma's neighbor is auctioning off his farm equipment and many acres of land. In my dreams, I imagine buying the land and operating my own farm, along with my family's adjoining fields.

God's plan for my life is a completely different path. I am thankful for what I have been given, even when reality is hard. I will continue to have memories, and see what my cousins do with the house and land going forward. Now, I need to finalize everything for preaching next week, and the tasks God has given me.

Debates, Equipment Trouble, and School, oh my!

Last week's entry concluded with me being exhausted after several days of evangelism. I was hoping it would pass quickly, but that wasn't the case. Along with not feeling well, this has been a week full of challenges on various fronts.

As a quadriplegic, I can't control my body temp and it is highly dependent on my environment. This past week was nice for outdoor temperatures, but my room stays on the toasty side. It gets cool when the air runs, but then pops back up again. With that, and just generally feeling run down, I had several nights where my temperature was over 100° and a few over 101°. Doing my skin checks, I also noticed a large rash on my upper right leg. An impromptu visit to my dermatologist resulted in a few med changes to combat a likely allergic reaction to something. Finally, I also am suspecting a bladder infection and started an antibiotic "just in case" while waiting on test results. That's a lot already, but just wait, there's more!

Tuesday was my fifth grade school visit. I debated about going due to health, but I didn't want to cancel with not much school year remaining. The combined 3rd/4th grade class was fun to work with and the students like seeing Mr. Joel. Several pictures were posted on the school's Facebook page and said they enjoyed the visit. I was thankful I made the trip and it turned out well.

I have had my hospital bed for almost a year. In that time, I've had a lot of trouble with my bed rails getting loose and needing tightened. Sunday, one rail was nearly falling off, but the bolt was stripped after too much tightening and would no longer adjust. It took two days' work, but dad was able to make a solution that works, at least for now. Early Wednesday morning, the machine that monitors my heart rate and oxygen level started making unusual alarms. My nurse worked with it, but the annoying beeps wouldn't stop, even when unplugged. It was sequestered to the next room under towels until it behaved, but it rarely did. A replacement was brought late Wednesday morning and the trouble-maker taken for maintenance. The new monitor works well, but has a very loud alarm on it. If my numbers drop, or the machine thinks they dropped due to a muscle spasms, the entire house can easily hear it. Hold on, one more item from this week awaits!

Two weeks ago, I posted about videos I was doing on world religions. The first three didn't much response in the comments. However, the latest video did not sound correct with one person who watched. He (I'm guessing, not sure based on name) brought up multiple points of contention of where Christianity is wrong. I carefully researched his points and gave answers to each and a resource to check. Not long after my response, an additional reply, plus another, came with many more points and problems. Amidst everything else going on, I tried to give daily responses to every 1-2 rebuttals each time. I want to see everyone come to saving faith in Christ, but I have to remember that it is a spiritual body we're fighting and isn't up to eloquent replies or what I do. I am trying to give it over to the Holy Spirit and pray this person (and many others I'm in contact with) repents and comes to Jesus alone while they have time.

It has been a busy week in the quad life and I hope this one ahead is calmer. I'm scheduled to see two schools and attend a wedding. I pray those will be the main events with little else going on.

Tired, but Productive Week

When I graduated from my first round of college in 2003, my night schedule changed. If a nurse is unable to come, I stay up with mom so she can stay awake more easily. This has been the case for two decades now, and it's starting to become harder.

Last week, I said my main night nurse will be gone for a few weeks and my day-time caregiver, Sara, was out one day for illness. Unfortunately, she wasn't able to return this week which meant only two days and three nights were covered. I've had several times this week I have not had energy to do much and start dozing off when I'm watching something I do want to see.

Thankfully, I was able to finish one website project I have been working on and I'm waiting back to hear from the site owners before starting three more. Therefore, my week was fairly free from more detailed items that could impact other businesses. I did get more editing done on my book and worked a few days until my mouth hurt, and then did some more.

With this week's progress, I'm over 2/3 complete with editing. It has been encouraging to see occasional remarks from the publisher of areas she liked or was happy to read. In one section, around 2009, I wrote about having night shifts not covered and my parents having trouble coping with the sleep deprivation.

Yes, it is a reoccurring theme that doesn't stop and gets old. I realized that I am now only a few years off from my parent's age at that time. It has me curious if the body goes through certain transitions at different ages or if any correlation exists. Whatever the reason for extra tiredness with this round of care shortage, it makes me especially thankful for all the care that I have been blessed with.

This week, I need to finish final preparations for preaching and speaking at a school chapel. Dad also saw a model train show is scheduled to be in Des Moines on Saturday. It sounds like a fun excursion, but will depend on how much energy we have and if I'm ready for Sunday. I will see what God has in store for another week of the quad life.

38 Years

John 5:5-6, 14: Now a certain man was there who had an infirmity thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there, and knew that he already had been in that condition a long time, He said to him, “Do you want to be made well?” … Afterward Jesus found him in the temple, and said to him, “See, you have been made well. Sin no more, lest a worse thing come upon you.” 

In John 5, we read an encounter between Jesus and a man who was lying by the pool of Bethesda. He had lived with an infirmity of some type for 38 years. When Jesus asked if he wanted to be healed, the man said he couldn’t get in the water fast enough to be cured.

Jesus simply told him to get up, pick up his bed, and walk. In an instant, without practicing faith, asking Jesus for help, or any action on the invalid’s part, he was healed. Later on, after the Jews reprimanded the man for carrying hit mat, Jesus found him again. This time, Jesus pointed out that being able-bodied again was not a big concern, but something worse would happen if he continued in sin.

Tomorrow, February 20, marks 38 years since becoming a quadriplegic. In these decades, I have experienced many trials and times that the future looked bleak. However, living in the present day, I have had many blessings of modern medical technology, wheelchairs, breathing aides, hospital beds with air mattresses, medicine for various needs, and a multitude of caregivers.

At the time of this account in Scripture, I can only guess what living conditions this man experienced. A few accounts of other invalids talk about being carried around on mats, without wheelchairs to get around. Daily tasks such as bathing, changing clothes, and more may have been luxuries that people with disabilities may not have experienced very often. In other words, living conditions would have likely been miserable, but they could be worse.

Many passages in the Bible warn about the conditions of hell; weeping, gnashing of teeth, worm that never dies, and eternal torment that never decreases. Looking at this, we can see that even the worst living conditions on earth are nothing compared to what will come for those who die in their sins.

Some people may think that living with an infirmity gets a person a free pass into heaven, maybe like Lazarus who begged at the rich man’s gate. However, that is not the case as every person will bow to God and give an account of their life. Examining my own life, I know very well that I have broken all of God’s commands and deserve eternal punishment. However, I war against temptation and put my faith and trust in Jesus alone for forgiveness.

With every passing year, and day, I agree with Paul when he said, “For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” (Philippians 1:21) I look forward to leaving this life of temptation, the difficulties of living with a significant disability, and seeing the increasing burden to my family. However, I can still serve Christ and His kingdom with the gifts He has given me and I will try to do so as long as I am given the ability. 

I do not know what another day, or year, will ring forth, but I know it will be according to God’s plan. I pray that I remember to rely on Him whatever may come and tell others all that Christ has done.

Give Thanks Always

We have now officially entered the holiday season in the U.S. With Thanksgiving a few days ago, all eyes, and stores, are geared up for Christmas and gift giving with the conclusion of New Year's Day to conclude everything. Unfortunately, the meaning of these days is being overlooked and ignored by an increasing number of people.

Early last week, I watched a video (I would link to it, but can't find it again) showing several people proclaiming they would not celebrate Thanksgiving. They gave reasoning that the day only recognized the murder of Native Americans by the Pilgrims and those entering the New World. Unfortunately, they miss the real reason of the day and season.

In 1 Thessalonians 5:18 we are told "in everything give thanks." When we truly understand how small we are compared to God's creation, we are nothing but a speck. On top of that, all of us have broken God's commands and deserve nothing but eternal punishment in hell. However, we are still showered with blessings in various forms. Even every heart beat and breath we receive is a gift from God with the next one not guaranteed.

The early settlers understood this very well. Of the original 132 that came across the Atlantic, only half survived the voyage and first winter. If it had not been for the Native Americans, it's likely few, if any, of them would have survived. The first Thanksgiving was celebrated with both the Pilgrims and Native Americans for the gifts God had provided.

Another gift, and the ultimate one, is God's Son and the forgiveness of sins that is open to all who repent and trust in Him alone. The birth of Jesus is what we celebrate in a few weeks and can give thanks every day, and hour, for what He has given.

Living the quad life isn't always easy, but I give thanks for another year I've been given and the blessings I continue to experience daily. May we always keep this in mind and in everything give thanks.

A High Start to Low End

Life in general tends to be full of roller coasters. Editing my book, most chapters end with a cliff hanger about insurance funding or something else. Some people may think it's just to make you read more, but it's all true. This week has been one of the transitions from a great start to more concerns to watch.

First, early in the week started in the low to upper 70's for highs. For mid-November, that's very unusual for Iowa, but I won't complain. Thursday started around 71 and was quite warm at lunch, but the day ended with high 20's and ice hitting my window. Now it looks like the seasonal temps will stay with highs in the 30's and lows even colder. I always know it's coming, but it's never fun to see. Weather wasn't the only change though.

On Monday, I didn't notice anything unusual when I did my morning skin check, but my caregiver said something about a rash on my leg. When I checked again in the late afternoon, I easily saw a red area on my upper right leg. Further investigation on Tuesday found a small opening in my skin where a wound had been deemed healed a year ago. It isn't big and we caught it early, which is why I check my body multiple times a day, but it is something to keep an eye on.

Second, I have started to have drainage around my trach button again. I just said it was nice not to have to deal with it, but that only lasted about a week. Thankfully, it also isn't doing bad and I have plans to start treatment again, but it's another item to watch.

Living the quad life, it is a frequent balancing game of monitoring and treating one area, but not ignoring another. This week's findings aren't unusual, but just constant reminders to trust in God for His control over everything.

Finally, I'm beginning to notice I am having trouble remembering some things, such as Bible verses I've known and typed many times over. I also haven't slept well some nights, so I attribute that as the likely cause. Last night was also long with no nurse. However, like it or not, I am getting older and should expect some changes. This week looks to be another cold one with staying inside and plenty of time to work on exercise and helping any areas that come up.

Grilled Joel

The problems with my trach button have been continuing. This past week was another appointment to try to fix the issue. However, I wondered if I was actually participating in an experiment instead.

Due to my caregiver schedule, I have very limited days that I can go out to appointments. My ENT doesn't normally do procedures on the days I have this freedom, but he very graciously rearranged his appointments to make a time that worked for me. This part was relatively simple, but the procedure was delayed for several weeks due to maintenance issues.

Since previous attempts haven't stopped the drainage, my doctor wanted to go more drastic. This time, he would take a laser and burn off excess skin around my button. However, this process produces smoke that could contain viruses and it needed contained. Unfortunately, the smoke vacuum was broken and we had to wait for parts.

Tuesday morning, I got up quite early to get to my 8:00 procedure, but still ended up arriving 20 minutes late. After numbing my button area and putting on special glasses, the ENT started to laser around my trach. As he did, I noticed a nearly constant stream of smoke floating past my face and up my nose, with an unpleasant smell. I joked that I was being grilled while my thoughts wondered why we waited for a vacuum to be fixed that apparently wasn't doing its job.

After about 15 minutes of grilling around my neck, and adjusting the suction to collect smoke, the procedure was complete. With the early start, I considered doing other activities in the city, but ended up returning home. It felt somewhat odd to get home from a doctor's appointment around the time I'm usually leaving.

It has been a few days since my grilling and I'm not sure if it has helped or not. I will give it more time to heal, but it's part of living the quad life. Medical procedures are not like mechanics where one change solves the issue. Taking multiple tries, and then more, are sometimes required to find the solution. I pray we will soon fix it though and I can have less discomfort and not go through 2-3 shirts a day due to neck junk.

Week of Distraction

Sometimes, I have plans to get certain things accomplished in a day. When it's time for bed, I remember all the items I didn't finish. This week has been one of those times of intending to do more than I got finished.

I preached this morning, giving the same message I gave at a different congregation two weeks ago. The message was quite familiar and in my mind, but I still wanted to review it a few times. When I went to look at it late in the evening, I always felt hot and tired and convinced myself to try the next day. Therefore, I didn't look at it again until Friday night for the first time.

One of my web projects is going very well, but I'm too the point that I need more information from the site owner. It has been a rush project, but now I feel like I am getting behind on it. Hopefully, I can get it finished by the projected deadline, but that will depend on getting material and when I can sit.

Also this week, I have been a very hard time focusing on anything, as I'm noticing in this entry. It seems like as soon as I'm sitting and can work on something, that's when my family or someone wants to chat

or get help with something. By the time they are finished, a third to half of my 45-minute time period is up. I don't like starting on a project and quitting after only fifteen minutes of work, so I end up doing superfluous items like Scripture typing or looking at a game that's easier to do while upright (like my airline).

No matter what is going on in the quad life, I try to be sure not to be so distracted that I neglect God's Word. I'm thankful I got in the habit of daily reading slots more than a decade ago. I heard once that if you get in a routine before you turn 30, you are likely to keep at it (good or bad). My head may get distracted to other thoughts, but I feel like I have missed part of the day if I'm late at reading for some reason. Hopefully this new week will get better with less distraction, but I will try to push through whatever comes.

Remembering Friends

The more years God gives a person, the more people you encounter and may get to know well. With social media, the circle of friends with similar interests can get even larger. I have written before about meeting others with spinal cord injuries (SCI) in this manner and getting to know them well. One such friend was William (Bill) Miller from Florida.

Bill was a fellow vent-dependent quadriplegic due to an accident in college. He and I initially connected through an online forum for people with SCI. When I started researching about the diaphragm pacemaker, Bill looked into it for himself as well. We had similar lists of pros and cons for switching, but concluded it would be good to try. I had successful surgery for it in November 2010, but Bill's implant procedure a few months later didn't work.

While we had similar physical needs, it wasn't all we shared in common. I don't remember the exact year, but Bill and I did an annual Bible reading plan together. It was the first time he had read the Bible completely from front to back and I enjoyed helping answer his questions. It was the first time I had the opportunity to do such a study with anyone and it helped form my thoughts for helping others.

For the last few years, Bill and I have been comparing notes on writing our own books. I let him approve the portion where he is mentioned in mine and I read where he talked about me in his. I have known many fellow quads over the years, but Bill was the one I probably talked with the most frequently. Scrolling through Facebook this past Thursday, I saw that Bill died on March 22. It was a surprise to see, especially since we had last talked in late February and he was doing well.

In August, Bill would have been 25 years post injury, I'm 37. For the past few years, several of my quad friends have died. It's part of living the quad life, but it still doesn't get easier. I'm thankful for all the years God has given me, but I still always wonder why I have been blessed with so many more than others. When my time does come, I also wonder if the friends I have made, but never met in person, will know that I'm gone.

No matter what the future holds, however long we're given, be sure to live according to God's will. We never know what tomorrow will bring, or if it will even come, and we need to always keep this in mind and be prepared.