Reluctant Change

The calendar has turned again and we are now starting October. With the year progressing, so are the seasons. However, some are more ready for change than others.

In-front of my house, a large maple tree shows off bright red leaves every fall. This year, about half the tree started turning color in June and has been slowly progressing all summer. I wondered if it was a sign of problems, but other maple trees in the area have been doing the same thing.

Earlier this week, during a rare sighting of the sun, I looked out the window and noticed bright red leaves next to fully green on the same tree. It made me initially think of the colors of Christmas, but also a reflection of how many people feel.

Part of me likes to see change and move forward in time, technology, and other areas. A larger part wants to stay with the warmth of summer and not see it end. I am also happy to stay in my ways and not branch out to try new things.

A conservative YouTube news reporter I watch has been advertising a supplement to help gut health for several months. I started seeing it in more places and researched it further on my own. After a few weeks of debate, and asking my doctor, I went ahead and ordered it. I don't have the magical changes advertised, nor did I expect to, but it may be helping a little. It's hard to evaluate after one week, but it's a start.

I also read an article this week that interviewed a quadriplegic, with a lower injury level than me. He gave his experience of having multiple problems, but then connected with other people with experience in different areas. They helped improve the issues he was having and has now had 12 years without pressure sores or infections. I'm thankful he found help, and recommended joining support groups to get and give advice to help the SCI community overall.

This is something I would love to move forward with, but know the support is lacking in Iowa. My local community tried having a wheelchair user group, but it only lasted a few months before dwindling out. I am part of another group of Iowans with spinal cord injuries, but we meet very infrequently and most the group has lower injury levels and therefore different needs and solutions. 

No matter the issue, season or reluctance, I can always give all concerns to God. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever and will never forsake you. He knows our needs before being asked and always fills them in the best way God has planned.

Living the quad life may be very stagnant, but some things do move on. Like our tree, I'll continue to see what stays the same and what progesses ahead.

Forgetful or Hurried?

I have been reading Scripture almost nightly since high school. For more than a quarter-century, I have had the same routine and repeat the ritual every night. This week, a slight fear I have had finally came true, and it's a lesson as well as a caution.

When reading a physical book, most people use a marker of some sort to act a reminder of where to start next. I'm the same in this regard and wrote about one of my well used markers a few years ago. My nightly ritual is that I sit up in bed after a snack and my night nurse arriving. They put my book board in front of me, place the Bible on it (which version depends on what day), and open it to the marker. After that, I'm on my own.

The first thing I do is remove the marker and put it somewhere I can reach it. One Bible has my old scrap paper mentioned above and the other uses a cloth marker included in the book. Yes, my caregiver could move it, but it's a slight part of independence that I do it on my own.

For the next half-hour, I battle between reading and every distracting thought that can come in my head. When I complete a chapter, and it's close to 11:00, I put the marker in its new location, close the Bible and cover, and do a tap a tune for my caregiver to come help. It all works well, except I forgot one step earlier this week.

Wednesday night, my caregiver went to open the Bible, but the cloth marker was still laying on top the pages where I had put it. After decades of dutiful reading and repeating the routine, I had forgotten to replace the marker. He asked me where I had been and my mind went to a blur. With four different reading regimes, I had to think which Bible I was in and what I read two nights earlier. I had him turn to the book of Philippians, but quickly realized the text was extremely familiar and had just been read. Therefore, I flipped forward to the next book of Colossians. The text was not immediately fresh, so I started reading.

When I finished, I made sure to place the marker before closing the Bible. However, I kept second-guessing myself if I had read all four chapters of Philippians or just a few and I needed to finish yet.

Thinking about it later, I told myself a few things. First, if I can remember what I read 2-3 nights ago, I'm not paying enough attention. Yes, it's late at night and the end of the day, but this is the Word of the Lord recorded so that I can study and learn from it. Some Christians long to see even one Bible, and I'm reading multiple different passages in different forms and forget what a privilege I'm experiencing. Second, pay attention and place my marker when finished, every time.

I could say I'm living an older quad life and can excuse forgetting something late on a busy day. However, that doesn't get rid of my responsibility. The rest of the week went without trouble, but it was a good reminder to not hurry due to the clock and stay with the full routine.

Witnessing to Telemarketers and Spammers

I am old enough to remember the days before caller ID and unwanted phone calls. When the phone rang, it was a friend, relative, or someone you actually wanted to talk with. When I went to college and had my own phone in the dorm, that's when I remember changes beginning.

On occasion, I would get a call from a guy that would try to flirt with my nurses, but hung up as soon as he know I could hear. The college said caller ID was available on campus, so I got a special box that hooked up to your phone and might display who was calling. It didn't work well, but the odd calls stopped coming. After college, for the few months I had my own apartment, I received a call from someone looking to get money for some police program. I hung up while being transferred to the money handler and didn't answer the next call.

Now, it's almost a dread to answer the phone as it's rarely an actual person you want to converse with. It may be an automated call trying to get information or sign up for something. Since I still use a land line, some people say getting rid of it would help. However, my main daytime caregiver only uses her cell phone and has the same problem.

Sometimes, if the caller is an actual human that speaks English fairly well, I'll have fun with them. I'll say something along the lines of, "I don't know you, are you a good person?" They'll hesitate, but often say yes. Then I continue with the Ten Commandments, "Let's put it to the test, the 9th commandment is do not give false witness, or don't lie. Have you ever told a lie, or will you in this call? Revelation says all liars will have their part in the lake of fire." By this point, most people stammer and hang up. If they continue to stay on, so do I.

"The 8th command is do not steal. The value doesn't matter, anything breaks the command. Have you stolen anything or will try to in this conversation?" I think I've only had one continue all the way through, but I conclude that all have sinned, but we can have forgiveness through Christ alone, not by works. The person returns to their script and I catch them quickly in a lie of some sort and they hang up.

Recently, I have also been getting emails to help promote my book, but with a small fee. I give the same response and never hear back from most, but a few continue to converse and try to continue with their script.

Even living the quad life and not getting out much allows for witnessing opportunities. I never know where the conversation will lead, but I at least plant a seed. The next call may make them consider their profession more, and that an alternative may be better.

Stick Trouble that Gets Sticky

I have used a mouth stick to interact with the world for more than 40 years. It is what I learned to use when I was originally injured and increased my skills as the years progressed. 

I primarily just use a straight wand that is 18" long and meets most of my needs. However, I have an abundance of other sticks and various sizes and functions. Some are short, some are long, and others can extend and go in between. Further varieties have capabilities of picking up items, holding a writing utensil, or allowing me to interact with a touchscreen. In some ways, you can say I have sticks coming out of my ears!

No matter the variety, they all have one thing in common and that is bite sleeves on the end. They are simple rubber cushions that I use to clamp onto and not have to bite plastic. Unfortunately, this is now become a major source of problems.

For over a year, I have had a hard time finding more sleeves to order. The only thing I could find have square ends that are not comfortable on my tongue. Digging through my collection of sticks, my caregiver found that one of them had brand new ends that had never been opened. The old style cushions are much more durable than those available today and the three sets that she found lasted an entire year. Unfortunately, I used them as long as I could but, had to switch last weekend. The only thing that was available were square tipped ends.

Within the first two days of using them, my tongue and entire mouth were sore by the end of the day. I was hoping it would improve, but it did not changed as the week progressed. I found myself to be forced to use more voice control in order to save extra pain. In fact, this week's entry has been primarily made by using voice control and much editing.

The problem with this method, is that my mouth quickly dries out and I need to get more drinks. I don't always have some one available that can give me a drink, so it replaces one problem with another. I know that various technologies are available for computer control, but I do more that just computer work with my stick. Reading, playing card games, and basically anything else I want to do require stick use.

I will continue to search and possibly come up with a method of making my own. However, that last option is currently completely unknown how it would be possible. I'm aware that I've been living the quad life for many decades and maybe do things a bit differently. Even with that, I do know younger quadriplegics use sticks as well. 

It looks like that one way or another I will be learning something new; either more voice control or how to make my pads. I will wait to see which one it is. 

Another Loss, am I Now the Oldest?

Last weekend, the US, and other countries, celebrated the country's 250th birthday. While it was a time of celebration for some, it was a time of mourning for others. On July 3, while checking Facebook, I saw that my friend Brett Klusaw had passed away. He was 45 years old and had been a quadriplegic for 43 years.

Brett was one of two fellow quads I knew that had been injured longer than me. The other, Chuck Foss, died in 2024 also after 43 years of living the quad life. With Brett's passing, I no longer know anyone that has been injured longer than me. At 41 years post injury, I do not desire the title of longest living quadriplegic. It's an honor I genuinely hope somebody else holds and we just haven't met each other. Until then, I guess I presume the title whether I want to or not.

Other than being old quads, Brett and I didn't share a lot of similar interests. Nevertheless, he only lived a few hours away in Omaha, NE and I hoped to meet him in person. We tried last year, but it didn't work out due to scheduling. I last communicated with Brett in April and thought this may be the year to meet. However, he was having trouble with pressure sores (sounds familiar) and I didn't want to push anything if he was decreasing sitting time.

Most weeks, I email a friend who is a retired pastor, but had tremendous impact on my church and helped me to get my license to exhort. Even though I am decades younger, we both have the experience of losing friends around our own age. It's for different reasons, but similar feelings. My regret is that I never had a gospel conversation with Brett.

The few times we talked via Facebook messenger, it was generally discussing ideas on how to treat different challenges we were facing. His timeline mainly consisted of sports references or decorating for an upcoming holiday. It's good to see nothing posted bashing Christianity, like some I've seen, but nothing supportive either. While I know it's the Holy Spirit's role to act on someone's heart in conversion, but it has still been in my thoughts in the week since his death.

It is a reminder to never let an opportunity go by that you don't share the gospel with someone. Some ministries advocate friendship evangelism and getting to know the person for several months, or years, before getting into spiritual matters. However, none of us are guaranteed another day or even another minute in this life. Waiting doesn't always work or provide opportunity to share the good news of salvation.

For this coming week ahead, be sure to be mindful to share your faith, even with casual friends. Even though we all sin and are guilty before God, Jesus provided the way of salvation for all who repent and trust in Him alone, not our works. That is what I will try to be more active in doing as well as remembering our limited role.

What's a Schedule?

In Proverbs, we read that man makes many plans, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails. This week has been one of change and adjustment.

Tuesday, Sara, my day-time caregiver, thought the new skin area was looking worse. Therefore, I called my dermatologist to see if I could get in any earlier than my late July appointment. A few hours later, I had an appointment for Thursday that someone had cancelled. This was good news, but required rescheduling my hair cut. That is actually a challenging task, but was done.

My doctor wasn't too concerned and said it currently looks superficial. However, he doubled a steroid I've been taking to encourage protein absorption. He also ordered a new treatment to the area, but insurance is now debating if they will cover it or not. I'm thankful to be making more effort in this area, but that's not the only problem.

Every few weeks, my caregivers change a patch on the right side of my chest that connects to my diaphragm pacemaker. In the first few years I had it, I had trouble with wires getting damaged and not working. The solution at that time was to put some silicone gel to restore connection. That worked, but other improvements made this need obsolete and everything has been working well for at least a decade.

For about a month, when changing the patch, one of my caregivers said the silicone was getting sticky and adhering to the dressing over it. I consulted with my other caregivers and an expert nurse on the system, and they weren't concerned. Early this week, I had a different nurse change the patch, and he had the same issue, but maybe a little worse. Wednesday morning, I emailed a different technician on the DPS than I did previously to check his thoughts. He now has flight plans and should arrive Tuesday to work on my patch. What one person thought was fine, another says it needs immediate repair.

Things I had planned to do this week didn't happen and what I hadn't expected to do did happen. Late Tuesday morning, I spoke to a class of Occupational Therapy Assistants. One of their questions was if I could work a full-time job. I answered that I did a couple full-time temp jobs after college, but that was 23 years ago. At this point in the quad life, especially with my caregiver schedule, it would not be a possibility. It seems like I spend an increasing amount of time just trying to maintain my health. 

With all these unexpected twists, I'm especially thankful for my dad. He continues to make sure I have a working vehicle I can use and works at least full-time so I can keep medical insurance. As my physical needs change, I also become more dependent on his care when I don't have caregivers.

God has blessed me with great parents that do so much for me. I never know how long we will be able to continue, but am thankful for all the years so far and look forward to another week to come. 

Birthday Weekend

The last few days have had milestone birthdays in my family. On Friday, my grandmother celebrated 90 years of life. Yesterday, my mom celebrated her birthday as well.

My dad's family usually gets together for a combined Thanksgiving and Christmas celebration in late November or December. This year, the traditional gathering was delayed to last week in order to make it a birthday party.

Dad has three siblings, all of which have multiple children and grandchildren. Combined, that side of my family has 53 members and five living generations. Everyone lives within a few hours of our home town, but it is still a challenge to find a time when we can get together. Thankfully, everyone except 2-3 people were able to join.

Growing up, I could easily tell you who each of my cousins were and what they did. As the decades have passed, spouses have been added as well as kids. Only seeing them once a year in person, and occasionally on social media, I have a challenge remembering everyone and who belongs to whom.

Since we last got together in late 2024, three new babies have been added to the mix. Two of them are only a few months old, so they were passed around to many willing arms. The third, Lewis, is nearly 11 months old and quite active. He isn't walking quite yet, but gleefully toddles around while pushing a fire truck looking toy/chair.

Our venue was held at a local school where we had access to a gym. Several of my cousins, and especially their kids, used the area for various activities. Lewis happily pushed his truck all around the area while older kids tried to dodge him. I look for any excuse to play with kids, so I somewhat helped his mom by following along side and providing a bit of a shield. At one point, I stopped while Lewis kept going and he soon looked back at me like, "Aren't you coming?"

This was also the first time I've really had open space to drive my chair. In an attempt to race a few of my other cousin's kids, I got to use top speed at full throttle. My last two chairs topped out around 6 MPH, and I was disappointed to see I can now only achieve 3.7. The early grade school kids were very easily faster than me.

Subsequent emails have determined my chair should go up to 6 MPH, as long as my seat is completely upright. I attempted testing again in a parking lot with the same results. Therefore, I'll be going back for adjustments on the electronics, again.

Grandma has the challenges many face after nine decades of life. While she may not fully remember the party, or all our names, it was still an enjoyable time for her and everyone else. We are not guaranteed another day, or year, in this life and should celebrate each birthday with thanksgiving. Let us take each day as a thankful response to serve God and remember all we have been given.

Talking full Circle

Several years ago, a family in my church needed help with child care. My parents and I love kids and volunteered to help watch 2.5 yer-old Ray and baby James. As the years passed, these two became my parents' adoptive grand kids and I was sort of the odd uncle.

Children have a tendency to grow too quickly and the two youngsters soon turned into teens with less frequent visits. Ray is now a college senior with plans to graduate this spring with her degree in nursing. For some reason, she likes working with neurological disorders, especially spinal cord injuries. Therefore, we have had discussions on hospitals specializing in SCI.

Ever since Ray started college, I have been emailing various professors that work in the nursing department. I thought this would be a great opportunity to speak with nursing students and help Ray and her classmates. Since the campus is five hours away, my offer was to visit virtually at no cost.

As is typical, I didn't get any responses. In three years of emailing, I only heard back from one professor who said she wasn't the right person to ask. I asked who would be, but didn't get a reply. I didn't try this year as I figured it wouldn't work anyway. However, there are multiple ways to visit with students.

Ray contacted me shortly after starting school this fall and wondered if I would be willing to speak to the nursing student club she helps lead. She knew of my attempts to try to speak with a class, so this would be a great compromise. Friday was the day I virtually visited with the students and staff who were available.

My computer is setup for me to use most easily from bed. However, I wanted to be in my chair to look a little more professional and maybe answer wheelchair inquires. My caregiver moved my bed so I could get aligned better with my computer's camera. I'm usually a little short as well, but my chair's elevating seat feature came in handy to improve my positioning.

Unfortunately, the crowd was much smaller than anticipated with only three students (one of who was Ray) and one late joining professor. Nevertheless, I squeezed my 60-minute presentation into 45 and covered the basics and special nuances of persons living the quad life. Whether by many or by few, I'm always glad when I get to teach upcoming generations. The girl that I helped play Chutes & Ladders has now become a young woman helping me to fulfill both our passions.

One item I covered in my presentation was funding issues. On Thursday, I received a response about the appeal I submitted to restore my day-time funding. The type of decision I received cannot be appealed and therefore will not be heard. One option still remains, but I will see where God leads. This week looks to be busy again and with fair weather, so it should be a good time to finally get out of the house.

Merry Christmas in 2025

Many of us have memories of Christmas as children. They may be of certain gifts, trips, or time with family. I remember getting bounced down the steps to the basement of my mom's parent's house. Each of the grandkids had a stocking with an ever-expanding board with hooks.

I always wanted to play Santa and deliver presents from the tree. However, I could only use my manual chair to get to the basement. That meant one of my cousins pushed me around to deliver gifts to waiting laps. Eventually, a ramp was built and I could use my power chair as Christmas celebrations stayed upstairs.

On the other side of the family, everybody would squeeze into my grandparent's house in the country. As my cousins grew in size and number, we kept our same location. Adding on a front room helped, but I just had one area I could sit, turn around, and move about five feet. Before moving, I had to check for anyone crawling or toddling so I didn't crush anything.

Some years meant going to both sides of the family in one day. Other years, we may miss one side's celebration, or they would be spread out a few days. Driving between destinations in the snowy countryside, comments would frequently come about how busy late December was. Trying to get everywhere, get our own family celebration, and my care needs done, made for very busy days. However, mom would often be the voice of reason to enjoy the opportunity while we had it.

As years passed, changes started coming in location of the celebration and how many families could come. Instead of separate celebrations for Thanksgiving and Christmas, they were eventually combined into one Thankmas party. Then, as my grandparents departed to heavenly celebrations, more changes came to family gatherings.

I don't remember when our last full family gathering was on mom's side of the family. Since grandma's funeral in August of 2024, I haven't seen the majority of my cousins in person and don't expect to until the next funeral.

This year, my dad's family decided to delay our winter celebration until grandma's birthday in March. Therefore, for the first time in my life, my parents and I don't have any full family gatherings to attend for Christmas. We may visit with grandma, but that would be it for Christmas.

As mom said many years ago, a time would come when we would miss going to various gatherings. Having a calm Christmas is nice, but it does feel odd not to have an annual get together and see how my extended family has changed.

No matter what you have going on this year, remember the reason we celebrate Christmas. Give thanks to God for the gift of His Son and the gift of eternal life. Have a Merry Christmas and enjoy the family you still have around. 

Final School

It has been a busy week of finishing and preparation. Tuesday was my last class for the year. It was a group of nine Occupational Therapy Assistant students who seemed to listen well. One in particular was very quiet and attentive (see picture).

OT students are very interested in all the different items I use to function. I discuss my wheelchair and different options as well as how I use mouth sticks and what type works for different needs. In class, they don't get a lot of real-life experience, especially with all the equipment I use. My schedule one-hour presentation frequently turns into 90 minutes or more. I wonder how much they actually remember after I leave, but hopefully my presentation helps.

Thursday morning, I visited with my ENT about my trach button and nose. It looks like I may have infection again, so I'll see what results come from testing. For my nose, I hoped to get help for breathing at night. Unfortunately, nose cartilage keeps growing throughout your life and mine is growing crooked. Therefore, when it gets annoying enough, I'll need to have it surgically corrected. It wasn't the answer I wanted, but it was an answer.

Today, Father's Day, is the last day to relax. After six years of staying home, I'm finally planning to take an over night trip. I've been thankful for all dad's help in packing, checking the van, and making sure everything is ready for a road trip.

Dad continues to do so much for me in many ways and rarely gets to take a day off. He should be at least somewhat retired, but continues to work at least full-time to keep insurance. I look forward to when he can slow down and not have work responsibilities.

I will continue to see what the quad life brings and be thankful for who God has put around me.

Who Will Remember?

It is Memorial Day weekend, the time of remembering those who have fought and died for our country and honoring loved ones. Friday evening, I went with my parents to place flowers on my grandparents' graves. Sitting in the van, several thoughts came to mind.

In the first cemetery we visited, it has several grave markers from well over 100 years ago. This wasn't my first visit, but I noticed a change in a few of them. Markers that had been tilting, were now fallen over and a few sat in a pile in one corner. As I read a large, modern stone, I was surprised to see the couple listed died in 1895 and 1908. The children of these two have likely also died years ago, but someone obviously replaced their original monument.

On our second stop outside of small town Iowa, the cemetery was a flurry of activity and seemed to be the town gathering spot. Families were out dispersing flowers and small groups were huddled around talking. This memorial area does not have any century-old markers, that I noticed, but also had many more flowers and recognition.

Unless God has major changes for my future, I am the end of my family line. At some point in time, be it near or far, both my parents and I will be gone from this earth. As I noticed the old stones left unnoticed and degrading at the first cemetery, it will likely be the case for my marker after a few decades. While our bodies may decay and be forgotten, everyone will be living forever.

God knows every person that has lived, is living, and will be born. It's hard to conceive knowing billions of people, but He is present for each. After departing this life, we will spend eternity in either heaven or hell. We need to be sure to born again by repenting of sin and turning to Jesus alone for forgiveness. As we reflect on those gone before us, let us remember our time is approaching and to spend it serving God and His will.

Learning Hybrid Control

Last week, I had my annual visit to the dentist. The dental hygienist said everything looked good, but the dentist had a concern. After an x-ray, his thought was confirmed that one of my front teeth is absorbing the root. This is the same thing that happened in 2019 when I finally ended up with an implant in spring 2020.

For now, all is fine as I'm not having any pain. However, I'll likely need more intervention by next year if nothing changes. The doctor said my tooth problem is probably due to decades of using my mouth stick and having extra wear. Therefore, I've taken up a project to learn a hybrid approach for computer control.

Apple computer's operating system has voice control built-in, I just haven't used it. After my appointment, I briefly read about the voice option and activated it. Since then, I have been attempting to use it for regular tasks and decrease my stick use.

So far, I've used it to open and close programs, some mouse work, and dictation. Programs have done pretty well, but some that I regularly use don't seem to register. Reading is easier as I can just say "scroll down" and it automatically moves. Dictation isn't as bad as I expected, but still not great.

Trying to learn voice software while doing school work is not the best idea. Saying short phrases are better, but not single words. Trying to delete words sometimes works, but I often resort to just correcting with my stick. 

An issue we're learning though is to pay attention to what I say. Using a voice monitor, my parents hear me say scroll down, they hear I need to go down. So, I'm trying to pronounce more clearly and ask for help with more volume. I also need to drink more, which causes other needs.

Living the quad life has unusual challenges. I hope this hybrid method will help my teeth, but I don't see me completely switching to voice, at least not yet.

Graduation Season

For most schools, the year is now complete and kids are free for the summer. Most students enjoy the break before moving up a year, but others have finished their school career.

I saw pictures, and video, of one of the campers from CHAMP Camp getting his high school diploma. I remember many summers of having being in his cabin and the multitude of pranks he helped initiate, and receive. It's great to see "Batman" move on to his next stage in life.

Yesterday, my parents and I went to a graduation party for my cousin's son. He is also a rail enthusiast and has many pictures, videos, and stories from watching trains in central Iowa. In many ways, he reminds me of myself in high school with trains on the brain. Unlike me, he plans to continue his rail interest as a career. Plans are to be a conductor with the Iowa Interstate railroad, at least for now.

Seeing graduates ignites my interest in learning again. I have been looking at a 12-week course on expository preaching. I hope to start it soon, but other factors, such as caregivers and required preaching assignments, need to be considered.

Unfortunately, many colleges and large universities have only become indoctrination centers for radical political agendas. Public high schools, and even grade schools, start the training well before students escape their walls.

Scripture reminds us that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge (Proverbs 1:7). Also, if we lack wisdom, we should ask God who gives generously (James 1:5). School in any form helps gain knowledge, but we need to always remember from where it comes.

I congratulate all recent graduates and pray they go on to serve God in whatever is next.

Healthiest in the Bunch?

Most weeks come and go without any big changes happening. Sometimes, you wonder what is going to come next. This last week was the second scenario with everything seeming to happen at once.

I am very blessed to have six primary caregivers and three that help on various schedules. As everyone ages, I have also been thankful that mostly everyone has stayed in good physical condition. Unfortunately, that can change quickly.

For my regular six helpers, three now have shoulder problems, one is having back trouble, and another has various challenges with age. The remaining three, one is leaving soon for summer break and only has limited availability. As sales commercials say, "But wait, there's more!"

After time in Hospice, my great aunt (grandmother's sister) passed away this week. Trying to coordinate how to get everyone to where they need to be and logistics has required careful planning. Just for fun, Iowa has also been having severe weather alerts. Friday night, mom and a friend went to a movie and had to spend time in the hallways due to tornado warnings. One of my web clients also had their site disappear and it took a fair amount of time and investigation to get it restored.

With all this, it can be easy to get anxious and worry about the future. However, it's time to remember that God said to be anxious for nothing (Philippians 4:6) and to not worry about tomorrow (Matthew 6:34). It doesn't mean to never make plans or do things get insurance. They remind us God is in control and to give everything to Him in prayer. When Job was allowed to be tested, he wanted to talk with God and get an explanation to his suffering. At the end, when Job did talk with God, he repented in dust and ashes (Job 42:6).

As another week starts, I look forward to seeing what God has in store and trusting Him for whatever comes.

Starting Another Year

In two days, I will start a new year of living the quad life. Looking back, this 38th year has had its highs and lows as well as times of learning.

One of the largest accomplishments was completing my autobiography and getting it published. I despise praising myself our saying I'm an example to follow. I am a fallen man and don't live as I should. However, I will gladly say what God has done in my life and how He uses every ability to serve Him.

With the accident anniversary this month, I have done two radio interviews and one television interview about my book. In all of them, I tried to make sure to point to God's glory and not my own. I wasn't fully successful, but it is was my goal. This year has also been a reason to remember God's Word.

In John 5, Jesus healed a man who had been "sick" for 38 years. The word sick is translated as infirmity, paralyzed, or sick depending on which translation you read. Whatever the exact term is, the man had a major physical ailment for 38 years. Jesus chose to heal him out of several others laying at the pool of Bethesda. He didn't know who Jesus was, let alone have faith in Him. After a confrontation with the Jewish leaders, the healed man had a second meeting with Jesus where He said to stop sinning to avoid a worse fate.

Living a large part of life with a physical ailment is hard, and I have learned this very well. As I recounted in my autobiography, looking only at problems resulted with me thinking life wasn't worth living. However, looking solely to God, we can see how He uses each person and that life is precious in His sight. As I now enter another year, I look forward to seeing what God brings me to do and how I can serve Him.

Room Update

Some people like decorating houses to keep up with the latest trends and modern looks. They may paint walls, rearrange furniture, or get new furniture to replace outdated styles. I am not one of those people by any means. My parents and I moved into our house 30 years ago when I was in Junior High. My locker wallpaper has long since been replaced and furniture updated, but less than other areas of the house. This week though, I did have an adjustment.

My room was originally designed so that my caregiver had a chair to the left of my bed, just a couple feet away. At some point, their chair moved to the other side of the room, about 15 feet away, and a large computer desk took up the same space. For a few years, some of my caregivers would use an old computer to browse the internet during down time, but that eventually faded away as well and the desk became a space for paperwork to be collected and processed as needed. It also took up a lot of space in my room.

After more than a year of debating on options, I got a new desk to replace the old one. It came in a box early this week and dad spent a few evenings dismantling the old structure, relocating its contents, and assembling the new desk. Now, it's sitting next to the wall beside me with most of the former desk's contents placed somewhere in or on it.

I may spend 4-5 hours a week outside my room, but that's even an exaggeration sometimes. Therefore, I'm very familiar with my surroundings. I'm getting used to the shorter desk and less stuff directly beside me and am starting to like it. The desk is a little larger than the space it's allotted though and covers a small section of my window. However, it is very minor and my caregivers are enjoying having more space to work with me.

It has only been a few days since the change and everyone is adjusting habits of where to lay equipment when using it on me and new storage locations. I don't think I'll be making further changes any time soon, but it is fun to have a slight redesign every decade or so.

A Year Done, Another Ahead

It is the last day of 2023, we have traveled around the sun and had some fun, as well as challenging times for all. Looking at 2024, some say it could be a year to abhor.

This past year, I was thankful to be able to return to using a trach button again and to finally produce my autobiography. For the most part, I also had nursing shifts covered with only one extended period without help. God has blessed my year again and allowed me to serve Him in various ways.

As with any future time period, we need to remember that God is in control, even though we may not understand why some things happen. However, we may give estimates on what will be in store for 2024.

I recently saw a report about low marriage rates and declining US population. That means jobs will continue to remain unfilled and as more people retire, openings will only increase. Therefore, we'll see more jobs turn to automation and even more self-checkouts at retailers.

It was almost four years ago, but 2020 should still be firm in most people's memory. However, some news media and commercials twist reality by saying things that happened weren't true. Such as being made to get a vaccine, or not work, and threats for those who didn't receive at least one. Now, it's starting to look like lock downs may happen again and even more restrictions for being in public.

In the US, it is a presidential election year. Already, one state has tried to fix the ballot by not allowing a current front-runner to be listed. If restrictions are put in place again, mailing ballots will be highly encouraged, which allows for easy manipulation.

For me, I have a few ideas in mind. Last week, I heard about a course I can take to improve my preaching. It is a college-level close from a school that does still adhere to the Bible. It's also affordable, so the main question is time requirement. I hope to be able to do the course, but just need to balance a few life options.

I'm also having more trouble with my back twisting, either due to physical problems or chair trouble. That needs to be another project to continue on with the new year.

As the quad life continues, I will plan to keep posting each week. May God bless your year ahead and remember to look to Him in whatever comes.

When is the End?

This week, Facebook officially decided to delete my accounts, both the one I've had for years and the new one I tried to make. The second account was cited as duplicate or fraudulent, even though I used a different name and email. My long standing account was deleted due to a reason I won't even write. To say the least, it was not something I did. Either my account was used by someone else, or the criteria for judging are very different than my understanding.

Therefore, with my free time away from social media, I have taken more time to watch some current news items. With Israel under attack, many people have wondered if we are now seeing the end times happening. My quick answer is yes we are, but also not really.

When Jesus ascended back to heaven, He said the end would be coming soon. Therefore, the end has been coming closer with every passing year, week, and even second. In that sense, yes we are living in the end times. The real question is, how far are we on the timeline?

Pretty much every generation has thought they would be the last one before Christ's return. Paul had to encourage some people in his time to go work because they were sitting around waiting for Jesus to come. It has been about 2,000 years since then and some still try to predict the exact time and day, only to get it wrong.

Several books of the Bible give warnings of what to watch for, and to be ready. Some of them include wars in Jerusalem, as well as earthquakes in various places, plagues, and people being deceived to the truth of God's Word. All of these exist, but they need to continue to get worse than they are today.

We are getting closer to Christ's return, and we always need to be ready by repenting of sin and trusting in Jesus alone for salvation, not by works. At some point, either our own end will come or Christ will return. Either way, let us continue to serve however we are enabled through whatever comes.

Surgery 25 Ahead

Living the quad life means I often require various medical treatments. Sometimes, more serious intervention is needed in the form of surgery. On Tuesday morning, I am finally scheduled for a procedure I've needed for a few months.

Looking back at my records, my last surgery was in 2012 to fix my broken femur. This upcoming appointment will be my 25th surgery. The goal is to get two large bladder stones removed that are each over an inch. They have been causing issues for a while and I'll be glad to get them eradicated.

As a veteran to surgical procedures, I'm very well aware of what to expect and how things go. The day prior to the appointment, I'll receive a call to verify the time to arrive. I will need to be at the hospital a full two hours before the surgery so I can primarily sit around and make sure paperwork is correct. However, I have already verified my medication list three times as well as my medical history.

Finally, after boredom has really sunk in, I get rolled back to the operating room. After I arrive, I have to verify my name, birth date, and what is being done. Thinking about it, I'm tempted to say something completely odd like head amputation and see what they say.

With more IVs hooked up, I finally get to take a nap. At first, I get a calm feeling followed by tunnel vision. The next thing I know, I'm in a different location and somewhat feel like I had a long night and don't want to get up. Thankfully, my head is usually clear and I can have fun with the recovery nurse.

As I currently know, I don't need to stay over night and will go home on Tuesday. It sounds like a minor procedure that shouldn't take long. However, after 11 years off, I don't know how my body has changed and how I will react. Whatever happens, I know God is in control and I look forward to being done with another surgery!

Continued Health Maintenance

I don't keep track, but it seems this year has had frequent health updates than any time before. I'm thankful they are relatively minor items and not major struggles like cancer, but they are persistent.

On Tuesday, I met with my ENT and discussed trach button updates. Unfortunately, it still has a tendency to sink in further than it should and drainage has again resumed. To help combat these issues, my doctor and I decided to try another button option that has a larger top. He placed the order with my regular supply company, and I received a call on Wednesday they can't get it. That means a search will be on to find a supplier, but another option should hopefully be available.

Thursday was an appointment with my dermatologist. He continues to monitor progress on my skin openings and prescribe different treatments. The area had a major setback in June, but it has been recovering since then. Unfortunately, the physician wasn't pleased to see the regression in progress since my last visit. A few changes were made to treatment and I am scheduled to see him again before winter hibernation.

Most of Saturday was again spent at my grandmother's house. Earlier this month, my parents and I visited to help start emptying the house as she moved to an apartment. Yesterday, most of my dad's family came to completely go through everything. Every surface was covered with contents from the kitchen cupboards, various drawers, and all rooms of the house. Piles were made for different destinations and a burn pile was already smoking by the time I arrived.

After nearly five hours, my uncles and aunts had cleaned out the basement, kitchen, and most rooms. Grandpa's toy collection still remained, until my cousin's children arrived. Toys that had been forbidden to play with were now up for grabs and soon multiple large boxes were overflowing with trucks and tractors that delighted great-grandchildren were devouring. A few said they planned to keep some in good shape, but others are not old enough to understand such concepts as collectibles.

Yesterday is likely the last time I'll have a wheel in my grandparent's farm house. With ongoing health concerns, it's a reminder of the progression of time and frailty of life. I will always have fond memories of parties at the farm with little room to move, but I know it will be something I miss for the week to come and whatever time I have in this world.