Umm...What's the word?

Around the time of high school, I started doing more writing. I worked with the school newspaper for two years and helped a small local newspaper during my senior year. I also got into forensics and giving speeches at competitions. I felt like I had a firm grasp on the written and spoken word and could present my ideas confidently. Now, I'm starting to wonder and find it more challenging.

Watching videos online, I frequently see advertising for a service called Grammerly. It is marketed as free and helps to write with confidence. The majority of what the commercials show are simple errors that are caught in Microsoft Word or other editors. With my computer, I also get alerted to spelling errors anywhere I write and can generally catch most of hem.

However, reviewing my book, I an often second-guessing myself on wording and clarity of what I'm trying to say. Composing emails to clients, I am spending more time editing and wondering if what I wrote is as clear as it could be. My confidence in what I once found easy is starting to decrease, and not only in writing.

For the past few months, I have also started having trouble finding the right words to say. In casual conversation with my caregivers, I know what I want to communicate, but come up with the wrong word. It's more frequent in the morning, but I notice it at any time of the day. It's frustrating, but also makes me wonder why.

I haven't had any formal writing or English classes since starting college in late 2000. In the two decades since then, I have only done my own writing without critique. I can easily spot errors in books or whatever I'm reading, so it may not be as bad as I think. As everyone can say, I have not been as old as I am now. It may just be age I'm noticing combined with a full year of very little interaction with the general public.

In two days, I'm scheduled to help instruct RT students virtually. Hopefully, I will have clarity of thought and speech to convey the experiences I've been given in the quad life. Whatever happens, I'll use the gifts God has given me as well as I can, including communication.