Who to Trust?

Most people have someone they look up to or admire. For kids, it may be their parents, and adults may point to athletes, experts in various fields, or even pastors. Whoever the person is, the admirer usually wants to be more like them and learn from their success. Unfortunately, we need to be very careful when looking to fellow mankind as people held in high esteem can, and do, fail.

On September 1, I concluded my class on preaching after nearly 12-weeks of work. The main instructor was Dr. Steve Lawson, who had 28 lectures about 30-minutes each. I have heard Dr. Lawson preach a number of times and mostly enjoyed his messages. The final video for class included tips on growing in preaching by listening to other pastors and a reminder to live what you preach. If you preach on not stealing, but take funds from an employer for example. you're not living as a Christian pastor. James 3:1 says that not many should become teachers, or preachers, as they will be held in higher judgment.

A few days ago, I was on YouTube and a suggested video came up from a Christian news source I follow. The main heading read, "Steve Lawson Removed from Pastoral Ministry." Watching the episode, I learned that Dr. Lawson had reported to his church leadership that he had an inappropriate relationship with a woman. As a result, he was immediately removed from his role as lead pastor and will be gone for an indefinite period of time.

Dr. Lawson is a man who many looked up to as a model pastor and have learned much from his teaching, I am one of them. This came as quite the surprise for a lot of people, but it's also a reminder that everyone has temptation, the heart is deceitfully wicked, and no one is good. That includes me and every pastor or leader anywhere.

We need to look to God alone as our admiration and to follow His teaching. Jesus was greatly tempted, but yet never sinned. He then took our punishment that all who trust in Him alone will be saved.

I pray for Dr. Lawson and all those who struggle with temptation. Living the quad life does not free me from wanting to go my own way instead of God's. Let this reminder make us check our own heart and to cut temptation however needed.

Learning Voice Little by Little

Back in July, I have my annual dentist appointment. Everything looked good, except for my two front teeth which he said were showing signs of wear due to my mouth stick. Ever since then I've been trying to use voice control on my computer. I am far from using it exclusively, but I have learned a few things.

One of the hardest things on my teeth is using the mouse. Therefore, this is where I try to decrease using my stick and use voice instead. Sometimes, it is just an easy task by saying to open a menu or click on a certain button. Other times it can save several clicks by saying to open or close a program. These areas do help, but doing other mouse actions can take a lot more work.

If it is not something that I can specifically say, then I need to go through a grid system saying which numbers or close to what I want selected until the mouse is it the correct object. Frequently, I will take a faster route and just use my stick to click. Dictation is also an item I have used somewhat, such as writing this entry, but accuracy isn't very good. Such as when I said "I have used somewhat," it turned into "I don't know I have your sandwich." It is better if I speak slowly and in short phrases, but that doesn't always do it either.

Programs using memory

I have also noticed that the longer I use the system, the more bogged down my computer seems to get. Doing some investigation, I found that it used a large portion my computer's memory. At one point, it was using as little as 45MB, and after a few days it had gone up to 16GB (1024 megabytes, MB is one gigabyte, GB). I'm not real sure the reason, by shutting down the system and turning it on again fixes the issue. I have started to get in the habit of turning it off when I play some games and then resume it after I'm finished.

For now, it is still a tool I only use occasionally and frequently get frustrated with. Trying to use it for this entry has likely taken longer then if I just typed it. At least it is an option that is available to help living the quad life.

Another Exhausting Week

In late June, my main day nurse had surgery and will not be able to return until the end of the year. I have written about it a few times already, but I have thankfully had regular night nurses. Unfortunately, that was not the case this week.

The scheduler from my nursing agency mailed me in late August to let me know both of my night nurses had requested time off in September. Therefore, I wouldn't have any help September 1-7, a full week. Thankfully, my one caregiver's plans were flexible and he agreed to cover two nights. Labor Day on September 2 was also without day help. In a typical week, I currently have 11 shifts covered. This week ended with only five of the regular filled. Brenda, my college student caregiver, did come for a couple hours two evenings to help with my bedtime cares and allow dad to get to bed earlier.

Multiple days without assistance isn't anything new. I am very fortunate to have as many caregivers as I do and receive so much help. I know another quadriplegic in Iowa who is approved for funding to have 24-hour care at home. That alone is a big hurdle to overcome, but he has very few hours filled with nursing and is primarily just he and his mom. He has told me before that he stays in one place in bed all night while his mom rests and nervously waits until morning, hoping the ventilator and everything stays connected and working.

It is hard to see my parents getting little sleep and getting so tired they get ill. Weeks like this make me consider again about still living at home. Thankfully, this new week should have normal hours covered again and we can be more active.

One positive note came Saturday morning. My evaluation came for my sermon last week and I received 90%. The primary note was that I need to adjust my voice tone more often, something I already know needs improvement. Overall, my final grade for the course was about 89%. After 15 years of not taking formal classes, and a new course of study, it went better than I expected. 

Such is the quad life, I continue to rely on God's provision and give thanks for opportunities He has provided.

Visit Conclusion

I can't remember the last time this happened, but I'm actually writing this week's entry on the day, and even  time, it normally goes out. The last few days have been busy and have not allowed me to write early, but they were good days.

Friday, my friend John came to visit for a few days and brought his oldest son, TJ. It has been a couple years since John came long enough to stay overnight, let alone bring his son. He stopped for a quick day visit last year,but that was it.

TJ is now 11 and old enough to have conversations with, but still plays games. He had an older version of farming simulator on his iPad, so I had fun teaching him farming basics. However, one reason John came this weekend was to hear me preach.

Today was the end of my three week preaching stint and the final assignment for the preaching class I've been taking. I gave the same message last week for practice, but today was recorded and what I will be handing in, if I can figure out how. I think I covered the majority of the requirements, except changing my tone of voice and having a suspenseful pause. I attempted to do more "body movement" than I normally do, but I don't know if it will count. I hope I will get a passing grade at least, but I'm preparing myself to get a bad rating as well.

After nearly 12 weeks of reading books and watching lectures, I'm somewhat glad to be finished. I can't say I learned a lot of new information, but did get a better appreciation of preaching and am more able to look at a passage and prepare a message. If I have more opportunities for similar, I will likely take advantage of them. However, I will give it a few months in order to get further caught up on my reading and personal study.

Living the quad life, I'm thankful for what I've been enabled to do and close friends to share life with. None of us know what a day may bring, but the past few have been fun. Now, I start a new week with hardly any nights covered and a day empty as well.