Excitement to Dread

For the next two weeks, I'm scheduled to preach at two different churches. When I agreed to help these congregations, my thinking went to the calendar. These will be the Sundays before and after Reformation Day (or Halloween), and my message could be something related to it. I had some initial thoughts in my head, but would get them more developed as time came closer.

Around mid-September, I laid awake in the middle of the night unable to turn my head off. As I considered the upcoming message, I soon had a flood of Bible verses, points to cover, transitions between topics, supporting verses, and more. While the sermon rapidly progressed in my head, I became more excited about it and looking forward to writing and presenting it.

Of course, I'm enveloped by pillows and sheets and nowhere near my computer or able to write. I had my night nurse write down a couple Bible verses on a note so I could maybe remember them in the morning. The next day, I wrote an initial outline based on what I recalled and felt some of the same enthusiasm.

This isn't the first time this scenario has happened. I have had ideas for preaching or writing come to me at night with great grammar and talking points, and then I struggle to remember them when I can write. Some people may claim some sort of divine inspiration, but I am not one to fully agree. However, I do pray for any preaching I do to be according to God's will and not my own.

As the weeks have passed, I have had trouble keeping the enthusiasm I had in the night. When opportunities to write became available, so did every excuse against it. Thinking I was too tired and needed to do something to wake up first, not enough upright time remaining, not in the right mood, and so on. Instead of being thrilled to prepare and present the message, it became more of an arduous task that I saw with dread.

With less than a week to go before preaching, I now feel behind on preparation. I finished writing my initial manuscript a few days ago, but don't like the concluding few paragraphs. The PowerPoint has been started, but should have been finished by now. What should have been done with plenty of time to spare now will be going to the limit of time.

In the nine years I have been preaching, this is a trend I've noticed. When you're doing a good work for Christ, it is when Satan temps you more. The temptation may be subtle, such as other work projects, or they could be strong in something breaking God's commands.

Knowing and anticipating this whenever I do something helps to ward it off. However, with this current round of preparation, it's an area of the quad life I need to pray and work harder on. With that said, it's time to get back to work.