Progress or Forced Payment

It has been an interesting week in the quad life, one of progress, rest, and forced searching. What more could you ask for in a seven-day time period?

I have still been struggling with the electronics on my chair. After 29 years of having two chairs that worked basically the same, I have not settled on the new system after nearly a year. Therefore, Tuesday was taken by a trip to Des Moines to see my chair technicians. They added grease to a sticking sensor, then slightly changed how my control buttons work. It is a little better, but still not exactly what I had in mind.

On Wednesday, my parents managed to leave for a three day trip. I have an aunt that just started helping on a few evenings and another occasional evening assistant I've had for a few years. The second person is scheduled for surgery in a few days and won't be available for several weeks. That meant any trips needed to be done soon. I enjoyed having the house to "myself" and seeing my parents get a break. Of course, like most outings, I looked forward to hearing about train sightings. They found a great overlook that showed a town, and a passing train. For me, Thursday evening was the most problematic.

Last week's post was how my sermon prep went from excitement to dread. However, I did finish my PowerPoint, cues, and notes early in the week. After supper Thursday, I opened my notes to review and see if I needed any changes before printing. When the Word document opened, I also had a message come up with a big "Okay" button. I was laying flat and couldn't read the message, but clicked okay as it was my only choice.

Something didn't look right, so I investigated further when I sat up. Apparently, my 2021 version of Microsoft Office now had an outdated license and would no longer work. All I could do was open existing documents and print them. I was thankful I had finished my notes, but couldn't make any adjustments. I made sure to print what I had, but now had a problem.

I use Microsoft Word and Excel almost daily for work items, tracking caregiver hours, and more. Many software companies have now stopped selling their product for one-time purchase that can be used for many years. Instead, they do prescription services for monthly or annual plans. It might be cheaper initially, but you end up paying several times more than you would just upgrading every few years. It's great for corporations to have a balanced software budget that doesn't have spikes every 3-4 years for upgrades. For individuals, it adds up quickly.

Friday was spent looking for options while my emails for site work kept coming. I finally found a version that still had just a one-time purchase (hopefully). I'm not sure how long it will be until this version is deemed outdated and force to pay for subscription services. Sometimes, technology progress isn't always for the better. This week, I hope to finish October with no unexpected findings.

Excitement to Dread

For the next two weeks, I'm scheduled to preach at two different churches. When I agreed to help these congregations, my thinking went to the calendar. These will be the Sundays before and after Reformation Day (or Halloween), and my message could be something related to it. I had some initial thoughts in my head, but would get them more developed as time came closer.

Around mid-September, I laid awake in the middle of the night unable to turn my head off. As I considered the upcoming message, I soon had a flood of Bible verses, points to cover, transitions between topics, supporting verses, and more. While the sermon rapidly progressed in my head, I became more excited about it and looking forward to writing and presenting it.

Of course, I'm enveloped by pillows and sheets and nowhere near my computer or able to write. I had my night nurse write down a couple Bible verses on a note so I could maybe remember them in the morning. The next day, I wrote an initial outline based on what I recalled and felt some of the same enthusiasm.

This isn't the first time this scenario has happened. I have had ideas for preaching or writing come to me at night with great grammar and talking points, and then I struggle to remember them when I can write. Some people may claim some sort of divine inspiration, but I am not one to fully agree. However, I do pray for any preaching I do to be according to God's will and not my own.

As the weeks have passed, I have had trouble keeping the enthusiasm I had in the night. When opportunities to write became available, so did every excuse against it. Thinking I was too tired and needed to do something to wake up first, not enough upright time remaining, not in the right mood, and so on. Instead of being thrilled to prepare and present the message, it became more of an arduous task that I saw with dread.

With less than a week to go before preaching, I now feel behind on preparation. I finished writing my initial manuscript a few days ago, but don't like the concluding few paragraphs. The PowerPoint has been started, but should have been finished by now. What should have been done with plenty of time to spare now will be going to the limit of time.

In the nine years I have been preaching, this is a trend I've noticed. When you're doing a good work for Christ, it is when Satan temps you more. The temptation may be subtle, such as other work projects, or they could be strong in something breaking God's commands.

Knowing and anticipating this whenever I do something helps to ward it off. However, with this current round of preparation, it's an area of the quad life I need to pray and work harder on. With that said, it's time to get back to work.

Going out as Lunch

This week was a nice change in Iowa. We went from cold, wet days, to full sun and warmer temps. It helps improves moods and allows farmers to get in the fields and start harvesting.

On Monday, my regular day nurse was on vacation and my parents and I debated on multiple options of what to do. We ended up having lunch near the river before visiting my grandmother at her care facility. With little convincing needed, the four of us were soon taking a trip on the sidewalk around the facility. It was nice enjoying the sun and taking a leisurely stroll while pausing at different points of interest.

When harvest begins in Iowa, bugs that have dwelt in the fields suddenly lose their homes and come searching for other sources of food. It wasn't long until some in our group were being bitten by little black bugs. I am usually the one that gets attacked by pests, but I didn't notice any around my face or see anything on me. I don't like anyone being in discomfort, but thankful I wasn't being bugged.

Not much later, I noticed my left leg was somewhat jumping and my foot nearly bounced out of place. The same happened with my arm, and I wondered what was going on with my limbs. After our stroll, we returned grandma to her room and departed for home. On the way to the van, I noticed both my hands had red spots on them and presumed they were bug bites.

As dad started my afternoon medical cares, I took glances at my legs and exposed skin as I could. I soon noticed a large red area near my knee that looked like it had at least three bites in small concentration.

These findings explained the unusual jumping from my leg and arm. Even though I wasn't feeling the bugs, they were still feasting on me and not getting brushed off. Later in the week, I noticed further bites as my night nurse reported squashing a spider near my room.

Sometimes, it can be handy not to be able to feel most of my body. I don't have trouble with aching joints or anything itching well beyond my reach. However, it's generally a better situation to know if I'm being used as a cafeteria and need help to swat pests.

I briefly went outside again on Friday, but was thankful for a strong breeze to blow away pest problems. It's the time of year when I want to absorb as much sun as possible before cold months arrive, but I also need to watch for other critters enjoying the weather. 

Thankfully, the next few weeks look to be calm in the quad life. I have a few projects in mind that need attention, but I'll see what wins for priorities. 

Reluctant Change

The calendar has turned again and we are now starting October. With the year progressing, so are the seasons. However, some are more ready for change than others.

In-front of my house, a large maple tree shows off bright red leaves every fall. This year, about half the tree started turning color in June and has been slowly progressing all summer. I wondered if it was a sign of problems, but other maple trees in the area have been doing the same thing.

Earlier this week, during a rare sighting of the sun, I looked out the window and noticed bright red leaves next to fully green on the same tree. It made me initially think of the colors of Christmas, but also a reflection of how many people feel.

Part of me likes to see change and move forward in time, technology, and other areas. A larger part wants to stay with the warmth of summer and not see it end. I am also happy to stay in my ways and not branch out to try new things.

A conservative YouTube news reporter I watch has been advertising a supplement to help gut health for several months. I started seeing it in more places and researched it further on my own. After a few weeks of debate, and asking my doctor, I went ahead and ordered it. I don't have the magical changes advertised, nor did I expect to, but it may be helping a little. It's hard to evaluate after one week, but it's a start.

I also read an article this week that interviewed a quadriplegic, with a lower injury level than me. He gave his experience of having multiple problems, but then connected with other people with experience in different areas. They helped improve the issues he was having and has now had 12 years without pressure sores or infections. I'm thankful he found help, and recommended joining support groups to get and give advice to help the SCI community overall.

This is something I would love to move forward with, but know the support is lacking in Iowa. My local community tried having a wheelchair user group, but it only lasted a few months before dwindling out. I am part of another group of Iowans with spinal cord injuries, but we meet very infrequently and most the group has lower injury levels and therefore different needs and solutions. 

No matter the issue, season or reluctance, I can always give all concerns to God. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever and will never forsake you. He knows our needs before being asked and always fills them in the best way God has planned.

Living the quad life may be very stagnant, but some things do move on. Like our tree, I'll continue to see what stays the same and what progesses ahead.

Productive Week Despite Sleep

Sometimes, it seems like everything happens at once. This was one of the weeks.

First off, Tuesday morning was the dentist. After a month of being careful with my temporary crown, I finally received my permanent cap. The new hardware is much smoother than my regular teeth, so I keep rubbing it with my tongue to feel the change. Switching crowns went quite easy and I'm thankful to have the process complete.

Thursday was a checkup with my ENT. My button is doing well, but he still prescribed treatment to be cautious. I hoped he could offer help with my nose getting plugged at night and making sleep difficult. Unfortunately, I'm already doing everything I should and he didn't have any further advice.

Friday morning concluded the week with speaking at a school chapel. It was my earliest talk in the school year for several years, but it was my last for the calendar year. I enjoyed helping students learn more in God's Word. Speaking to K-8 is a challenge to keep everyone interested and understanding, but I think it worked. My microphone decided to drop at one point though, so I concluded it was time to wrap up if the mic was getting drowsy.

All week, I was also dealing with sleep problems. Back on September 18, I had my annual physical with everything looking good. I can't remember when I started, but I have been taking sleep meds for several years. However, I have had trouble waking up in the mornings and asked about decreasing my sleep medication. My doctor agreed and I started the new routine that night. Instead of waking up more easily, it got worse.

Last week Sunday, I was so sound asleep that dad couldn't get me up in time for church. Tuesday morning, I slept through my caregiver washing my hair. When I sleep through someone pouring water on my head, the part I can fully feel, that is sound asleep. Of course the decrease hasn't helped sleeping at night either.

Finally, the week ended with two nights without help. This coming week, I also have two day shifts without a caregiver. Late nights and early mornings also don't help with being well rested.

Thankfully, I'm able to stay active in various ways. Living the quad life has different areas to guess and adjust. I'll likely keep the new med routine for another week before deciding to switch back again. I prefer taking fewer medications, but I also want them to serve their purpose. I will wait to see what happens and dream of restful nights, if I can sleep.

Forgetful or Hurried?

I have been reading Scripture almost nightly since high school. For more than a quarter-century, I have had the same routine and repeat the ritual every night. This week, a slight fear I have had finally came true, and it's a lesson as well as a caution.

When reading a physical book, most people use a marker of some sort to act a reminder of where to start next. I'm the same in this regard and wrote about one of my well used markers a few years ago. My nightly ritual is that I sit up in bed after a snack and my night nurse arriving. They put my book board in front of me, place the Bible on it (which version depends on what day), and open it to the marker. After that, I'm on my own.

The first thing I do is remove the marker and put it somewhere I can reach it. One Bible has my old scrap paper mentioned above and the other uses a cloth marker included in the book. Yes, my caregiver could move it, but it's a slight part of independence that I do it on my own.

For the next half-hour, I battle between reading and every distracting thought that can come in my head. When I complete a chapter, and it's close to 11:00, I put the marker in its new location, close the Bible and cover, and do a tap a tune for my caregiver to come help. It all works well, except I forgot one step earlier this week.

Wednesday night, my caregiver went to open the Bible, but the cloth marker was still laying on top the pages where I had put it. After decades of dutiful reading and repeating the routine, I had forgotten to replace the marker. He asked me where I had been and my mind went to a blur. With four different reading regimes, I had to think which Bible I was in and what I read two nights earlier. I had him turn to the book of Philippians, but quickly realized the text was extremely familiar and had just been read. Therefore, I flipped forward to the next book of Colossians. The text was not immediately fresh, so I started reading.

When I finished, I made sure to place the marker before closing the Bible. However, I kept second-guessing myself if I had read all four chapters of Philippians or just a few and I needed to finish yet.

Thinking about it later, I told myself a few things. First, if I can remember what I read 2-3 nights ago, I'm not paying enough attention. Yes, it's late at night and the end of the day, but this is the Word of the Lord recorded so that I can study and learn from it. Some Christians long to see even one Bible, and I'm reading multiple different passages in different forms and forget what a privilege I'm experiencing. Second, pay attention and place my marker when finished, every time.

I could say I'm living an older quad life and can excuse forgetting something late on a busy day. However, that doesn't get rid of my responsibility. The rest of the week went without trouble, but it was a good reminder to not hurry due to the clock and stay with the full routine.

Olmstead Taskforce Retirement

In 1999, the US Supreme Court decided on a case called Olmstead vs. L.C. It was determined that persons with intellectual and physical disabilities need to be housed in the least restrictive setting possible. Shortly after this decision, Iowa governor Tom Vilsack followed other states and established the Olmstead Consumer Taskforce (OCTF) to monitor Iowa's compliance.

As a high school student at the time, I was unaware of any of this and had other priorities in mind. It wasn't until 2018, when a friend said the OCTF was looking for members, that I learned of its existence. The group sounded somewhat interesting, so I submitted my résumé and application. A few weeks later, I was told thank you, but I wasn't chosen and my application would be kept on file. The following summer, OCTF contacted me if I was still interested. I debated, but went ahead and applied again and I was then taken on.

My first meeting was in September 2019 at a library near Des Moines. Another member had only served two of their three-year term and I was finishing that person's time. I arrived a little late due to a doctor's appointment, but had told the secretary the situation. My caregiver and I quietly found a spot to sit and listened to the proceedings. For the entire 3+ hours, including lunch, I was never welcomed, acknowledged, or thanked for coming. As I suspected, I was just there to fill a quota and nothing more. I looked forward to completing my one year and leaving.

Not long after 2020 started, meetings changed from primarily in person to completely virtual. This worked much better for me, and several others, and the format was continued. I also joined a subcommittee as required and finally started to feel like a valued part of the group. Therefore, I decided to try one full term just to maybe help more.

Friday was my final official day with the OCTF. After serving two full terms, plus an extra year, I was required by the group's bylaws to take a year off before applying again. For the past two years, I served as the vice-chair as well as chairman for the community access committee and on the executive committee. Due to various factors, I was slated to stay on an additional year as the OCTF chairman, but that changed due to another volunteer taking the roll.

During my tenure, I was pleased to see the group go from just dry meetings covering data to actively campaigning for change and meeting with people that could make change. In 2023, a few other subcommittee members and I met with the CEO of the Iowa State Fair to campaign for better accessibility. It resulted in increased accessible parking and further possible changes.

I am also thankful to report that my caregiver funding was approved for more hours for September-December. It was not a direct result from OCTF, but it is something we highly encouraged through various avenues.

Through all the meetings, at least two per month, I became friends with some other members. I can still attend as a member of the public, but without voting rights or similar privileges. I'm uncertain if I'll apply again next year, but I'm thankful for the time I was able to help and encourage more active roles.

That Sinking Feeling

I've heard stories about people dreaming they're falling into a bottomless pit and then wake up and fall out of bed. This week didn't have any strange dreams, but did have a sinking feeling in the middle of the night.

Central Iowa started September with a heat wave. All week was under a heat advisory with highs in low to mid 90's and night-time lows staying in the 70's. About 1:20 Wednesday morning, I was actually fully asleep for once. At that time, the electricity went off and instantly stopped everything using electricity.

My night nurse noticed as the lamp beside him turned off and my room went silent from various devices that are always running. Something also alerted my parents sleeping on the other end of the house. I was blissfully unaware of any change until my dad and caregiver were chatting a few feet away from me and woke me up.

Using my diaphragm pacemaker, I can breathe fine without needing electricity. However, the air mattress I sleep on does require power to stay inflated. As the two men talked and I figured out what was going on, dad would poke my bed to check on its status. With one eye buried in a pillow, I peered through my other eye to watch the action.

Dad or my caregiver had the emergency light sitting on my dresser and I noticed the side of the mattress was slowly getting higher in relation to my viewpoint. As the bed slowly consumed me, I heard dad say they would wait 5-10 minutes to see if the power turned back on and then see what to do. I had yet to say anything or acknowledge I was awake, but started counting. I receive 15 breathes per minute, or 75 breathes in five minutes. Starting at 75, I counted down and waited to get to zero.

Thankfully, with underground power lines, the electricity in my house has been very stable for at least 20-25 years. We had theorized plans on what to do if the power went out, but never tested them. Soon enough, my breath count reached zero and I chimed in on the ongoing conversation that we should work on getting my mattress hooked up to power. It was continuing to ingest me at a slow rate, but I definitely was going down. 

Dad and caregiver set off on our theory of connecting an electrical inverter to my van and then plugging in my mattress via an extension cord. Apparently the first attempt of using the cigarette lighter didn't work, but the two then connected the device directly to the battery. After figuring out cord configuration, my bed soon hummed back to life and slowly returned me from the depths to which I had fallen. One device was now functioning, but that was all.

Without air conditioning, my room stayed around 77°-78° in the warm night. Staying without a sheet, or anything else, on me allowed my temp not to clime too high. Thankfully, power returned around 5:00 and the van battery lasted long enough to keep me aired up. I never heard what caused the outage, but was thankful the plan worked. I also reviewed in my head how to tell my caregivers to setup the power source if my parents aren't around.

The quad life indeed has unexpected times and events. It is a reminder to be prepared, but also trust in God at all times. 

Tooth Question Week

At my last dentist appointment, it was noticed one of my upper side teeth had developed a second crack. The suggested solution was to put a cap on it to protect from further damage. Therefore, I went back to the mouth doctor this week for the first of two appointments last Tuesday.

This time, my existing tooth was ground down to some determined point and a temporary cap put in place. Thanks to modern medicine, the procedure itself had little discomfort and only took about an hour. The primary dental hygienist helping me looked to be a recent graduate of dental school and my dentist and another hygienist made sure to fill her on my history and why I am a quadriplegic. Other than occasional confirmation grunts while my mouth was occupied, I was impressed on the accuracy of conveying my history.

When everything was complete, I was warned to be careful not to pop the temp cap off. All week was a struggle to get much accomplished with trying to be gentle on my tooth. I slowly increased the use of it, but ended up saying "click" to my computer many times while trying to reduce mouse use.

Wednesday afternoon, while still having a tender mouth, I had my annual Medicaid review to make sure I'm still a quadriplegic and need help. As the interviewer sits directly in front of me, she asks questions about how much I participate in meal preparation or household chores. For meals, my only participation includes deciding what to eat (when on my own) and chewing. Apparently making a decision counts for something on the evaluation score, but still need complete help. The same goes with shopping, all I can do is decide. Someone else must get me in my chair, put me in the vehicle, drive, place items in the cart, and physically pay with my choice of currency (cash or what card).

After multiple questions along these lines, determining I need help with basically everything other than blinking and talking (assuming my pacemaker is connected and working), it leaves a feeling of slight depression. This is when the barrage of mental health questions begin. This year seemed to weigh heavily on the section.

I was asked the normal questions of my general mood and outlook on life. After this, the interviewer inquired if I have the habit of disrobing in public and making obscene remarks. Considering I can't even dress, or undress, myself in my own bed at home, I answered no. The full Q&A time took about an hour of questioning almost everything. However, I was never asked if I can breathe on my own and need assistance in this small part of life. The interviewer said they weren't supposed to submit extra notes, but would be sure to include it.

Thankfully, after more reconsiderations, my caregiver funding for the remainder of 2026 has been increased. When this week's evaluation is considered, it may result in more appeals and information gathering for 2027. Such is the quad life, but I'm thankful to be able to live at home and be active in the public, while keeping my clothes on.

Fair Days in 2026

My last summer activity most years is attending the Iowa State Fair and volunteering at the gospel outreach booth. I was at the booth on the mornings of Friday, August 14, and the following Tuesday. This year, I actually got into a few conversations with people.

The Saturday before the fair started, the booth organizer asked for help getting everything setup. Dad and I joined other volunteers of various ages and helped erect the steel structure, electric lines, banners, and everything else. I talked with a friend I hadn't seen in person for a few years and another one of the regular outreach volunteers. I knew her face well as we've served together in different functions, but it took a while to remember Mary's name. It was a great time of fellowship with like-minded Christians. Shortly after lunch, everything was complete, gospel tracts and booklets were on display, and the booth was ready for guests.

Friday morning took over 40 minutes to get in the parking lot, which meant Sara and I arrived a little late to our locations. Soon after, three older teen boys caught a glimpse of a million dollar bill gospel tract and picked one up. As they did, I directed to read the million dollar question on the back. Most people walk away as they read, but this group stayed. I waited a few seconds for the young man to read and then asked him, "Would you say you're a good person?" He responded, "I would say so, but they might not."

Using this, I bounced the question to his friends before taking them through a few of the Ten Commandments. They had all broken at least some of the commands, so I continued with all deserving of hell and Jesus paying our fine. It has been a while since I actually got to take someone through the "good person" test one-on-one, but they seemed to understand and take it seriously.

Later in the day, a lady from a neighboring booth stopped over and I noted her cross necklace. She quickly got to the question she had in mind; do I believe the world is flat or a globe? I answered globe and cited the Bible speaks about the circle of the earth. Before I could get to other scientific proofs, she cut me off and responded with her stance on flat earth and we'll just have to find out when we die. I attempted a reply, but she ran off before I received a breath. I have studied the beliefs of flat earthers and how they deny evidence we can test and accounts from Christian astronauts, but this was my first time speaking with one. Tuesday's notable conversation was with an older woman who believed dinosaurs were primarily made up. I gave her passages from Job and volunteer Mary gave her a booklet on the subject.

Regular conversations about the Ark Encounter were had both days with some people wanting to go and others already had. It was a great time though and I'm thankful I was able to volunteer again. Sara and I both commented on Thursday that it's a lot of work, and we don't really see much of the fair, but we already miss not having more outreach opportunities.

This week will be another busy time of doctor's appointments and annual tests. On Tuesday, I'm scheduled to get a temporary crown on one of my upper back teeth. I'm a little concerned how it will affect my stick use, but I will wait and see. It will be another fun time of adjusting in the quad life. 

Made to Deceive

Throughout history, people have tried to deceive each other in various forms. In the Bible, we read that measurements and weights were slightly adjusted to favor the person selling. They could give out less product, but still charge for the full amount.

As the centuries and technology have progressed, so have the ways thieves try to steal and deceive. Phone calls from legitimate sounding companies say you owe them money, but careful observance notices discrepancies. Is they are missed, the victim may be out hundreds or thousands of dollars. This week, I was not the victim of money theft, but misrepresentation of a different kind.

Every week, I get emails from Google reporting on my websites of any errors in their search capabilities. Most of the issues result themselves, so I often ignore the messages. However, one email was different than the rest and concerned my own work site. The message said that might merchant pages were set up incorrectly and needed to be resolved. This would normally sound helpful, but I don't sell anything on my site or have merchant pages. Clicking one of the links on what was supposedly my page brought me to a Chinese website that meant to be selling some products. Investigating further, my actual website was nothing but blank white pages. Even with proper security software, strong passwords, and updated plugins, I had been hacked.

I was also unable to login and access my site to make any edits. For the next hour and a half, I spoke with a customer service person from my site's web host to get the site restored. He did most of my site, but I was still unable to login. My time to sit had long ago expired, so I reluctantly had to quit and solve the issue later.

Tuesday through Friday were very busy days filled with meetings, biking, and my first trip to the fair. However, I managed to squeeze in another phone call and regain access to the site. Even with this accomplishment, major parts were still missing or not working. I also had to clear out 13 people who had added themselves as administrators. In an attempt to recover everything, I reverted to a backup from a few months ago. This resulted in my new login information being removed and I found out how to get myself logged in through a "unique" method.

Unfortunately, the backup ended up returning to blank pages and parts not wanting to function. With very limited upright time, it is difficult to make progress on something I have thankfully not had to deal with before. Monday will be another phone call and hoping everything returns to normal.

As Scripture, the heart is desperately wicked and prone to evil. My caregiver wondered why I wasn't mad on the phone and having heated exchanges. I explained such behavior does nothing and the person I'm talking to is trying to help. However, I do pray that whoever does these types of activities comes to Jesus for forgiveness and repents from such actions. I will see what surprises come up this week.

Zoo Event Day

Living the quad life, I am very familiar with adjusting plans and adapting as things change. This week was an example of unexpected situations, thankfulness, and learning to pay better attention.

For about six years, I have been trying to go to the zoo in Des Moines. I didn't have a particular reason or goal, it was just something I haven't done since around 2000 and it sounded like a fun, local, getaway. Inevitably, I would have a date planned, and something would come up. Either the weather wasn't conducive for me, a more urgent item took importance, health issues, etc. This year, the sticky note on my calendar moved several times.

Finally, this past Tuesday, August 4, looked to be the day it would happen. For several days ahead, the weather was forecast to be partly cloudy, mild temps, and my caregiver Sara and I were doing well enough for health. Two days prior, I first heard about possible thunderstorms and thought it would be delayed again. Tuesday morning still said partly sunny skies with rain in the late afternoon. Therefore, we decided to go and pulled out of the driveway with the sun shining through the clouds.

Less than ten miles after leaving home, it started to rain, and continued with varying intensity for the next 30 miles. As we came close to the exit we needed, rain kept falling and Sara and I tried to decide what to do. Just before the turn off, the precipitation stopped and we decided to find a parking spot and evaluate the situation.

Arriving at the zoo, we found a packed parking lot. The main lot was completely full and the alternate lot looked equally filled. Another van with a wheelchair ramp was ahead of us and we both circled the lot like animals ready to pounce on anything available. We finally saw one regular spot open, but it was sandwiched between two other vehicles. With no other choice, Sara partially parked in the spot, let me out, then parked the rest of the way. I was glad to see the small zoo so popular, but it was not what I expected.

Navigating through the parking lot and sidewalks, I noticed a couple other wheelchair users rolling around. By the looks of them, I guessed a local care facility was also having a zoo day for their residents. As I neared the main entrance, a zoo employee yelled "Sir!" I wasn't completely sure she meant me, but as I continued, she came closer to me and said, "Sir, the event entrance is this way," pointing her hand. I briefly guessed she meant something with the other people I saw, and I answered, "What event?" The lady looked confused, but said we were headed in the right direction. I am used to being a lone wolf and didn't want to join in on a party I hadn't been invited to.

For the next 3.5 hours, Sara and I toured the grounds and saw the African exhibit, Australian area, and all the other animals and attractions available. Everywhere we turned though, we kept noticing more wheelchair users. It was nice to not be the only one, but it still felt strange. I overheard one caregiver looking lady talking to her client saying a few COC groups must have come. The Christian Opportunity Center is a central Iowa organization that serves people with various intellectual disabilities. This made some sense, but I also saw some children that I knew were too young to be COC clients.

The main challenge of the day was finding dry seats for Sara to use. I made sure to stop several times to give her a break and to fully tilt my chair and adjust my pressure. The wheeling crowd seemed to decrease after lunch, but we left before 2:00 and went home satisfied that we did everything and thankful it worked out.

Wednesday morning, I briefly checked Facebook and saw a news item from the previous day. About a dozen disability service organizations had organized a Disability Pride day at the zoo and over 1,000 persons with disabilities had attended. This explained the large number of fellow wheelchair users, no parking, and why the zoo staff was trying to direct me. If I had taken her advice, I would have found a few friends who were also there, but I never saw.

Sometimes, watching local news more be beneficial. However, I didn't miss out on anything and enjoyed the day. One friend said he was there twice as long as we were, which would not have worked for my caregiver's schedule. I don't have plans to return any time soon, but if I do, I may watch more media than just weather guesses. 

Witnessing to Telemarketers and Spammers

I am old enough to remember the days before caller ID and unwanted phone calls. When the phone rang, it was a friend, relative, or someone you actually wanted to talk with. When I went to college and had my own phone in the dorm, that's when I remember changes beginning.

On occasion, I would get a call from a guy that would try to flirt with my nurses, but hung up as soon as he know I could hear. The college said caller ID was available on campus, so I got a special box that hooked up to your phone and might display who was calling. It didn't work well, but the odd calls stopped coming. After college, for the few months I had my own apartment, I received a call from someone looking to get money for some police program. I hung up while being transferred to the money handler and didn't answer the next call.

Now, it's almost a dread to answer the phone as it's rarely an actual person you want to converse with. It may be an automated call trying to get information or sign up for something. Since I still use a land line, some people say getting rid of it would help. However, my main daytime caregiver only uses her cell phone and has the same problem.

Sometimes, if the caller is an actual human that speaks English fairly well, I'll have fun with them. I'll say something along the lines of, "I don't know you, are you a good person?" They'll hesitate, but often say yes. Then I continue with the Ten Commandments, "Let's put it to the test, the 9th commandment is do not give false witness, or don't lie. Have you ever told a lie, or will you in this call? Revelation says all liars will have their part in the lake of fire." By this point, most people stammer and hang up. If they continue to stay on, so do I.

"The 8th command is do not steal. The value doesn't matter, anything breaks the command. Have you stolen anything or will try to in this conversation?" I think I've only had one continue all the way through, but I conclude that all have sinned, but we can have forgiveness through Christ alone, not by works. The person returns to their script and I catch them quickly in a lie of some sort and they hang up.

Recently, I have also been getting emails to help promote my book, but with a small fee. I give the same response and never hear back from most, but a few continue to converse and try to continue with their script.

Even living the quad life and not getting out much allows for witnessing opportunities. I never know where the conversation will lead, but I at least plant a seed. The next call may make them consider their profession more, and that an alternative may be better.

Stick Trouble that Gets Sticky

I have used a mouth stick to interact with the world for more than 40 years. It is what I learned to use when I was originally injured and increased my skills as the years progressed. 

I primarily just use a straight wand that is 18" long and meets most of my needs. However, I have an abundance of other sticks and various sizes and functions. Some are short, some are long, and others can extend and go in between. Further varieties have capabilities of picking up items, holding a writing utensil, or allowing me to interact with a touchscreen. In some ways, you can say I have sticks coming out of my ears!

No matter the variety, they all have one thing in common and that is bite sleeves on the end. They are simple rubber cushions that I use to clamp onto and not have to bite plastic. Unfortunately, this is now become a major source of problems.

For over a year, I have had a hard time finding more sleeves to order. The only thing I could find have square ends that are not comfortable on my tongue. Digging through my collection of sticks, my caregiver found that one of them had brand new ends that had never been opened. The old style cushions are much more durable than those available today and the three sets that she found lasted an entire year. Unfortunately, I used them as long as I could but, had to switch last weekend. The only thing that was available were square tipped ends.

Within the first two days of using them, my tongue and entire mouth were sore by the end of the day. I was hoping it would improve, but it did not changed as the week progressed. I found myself to be forced to use more voice control in order to save extra pain. In fact, this week's entry has been primarily made by using voice control and much editing.

The problem with this method, is that my mouth quickly dries out and I need to get more drinks. I don't always have some one available that can give me a drink, so it replaces one problem with another. I know that various technologies are available for computer control, but I do more that just computer work with my stick. Reading, playing card games, and basically anything else I want to do require stick use.

I will continue to search and possibly come up with a method of making my own. However, that last option is currently completely unknown how it would be possible. I'm aware that I've been living the quad life for many decades and maybe do things a bit differently. Even with that, I do know younger quadriplegics use sticks as well. 

It looks like that one way or another I will be learning something new; either more voice control or how to make my pads. I will wait to see which one it is. 

How Many Times?

One of my endless number of faults is reacting too quickly when I hear erroneous Bible accusations. A few years ago, one of my caregivers had read something about the book of Revelation, She said it was confusing and was certain I hadn't ever read it. While I agree it has several interpretations with various Scriptural support, I reminded her of my routine.

For many years, I have done a morning reading plan from Genesis through Revelation. For about 20 years, I also read 3-4 chapters of the Bible every night which also went cover to cover in a year or less. Therefore, I estimated I read Revelation twice per calendar year and possibly three times depending on my night reading schedule. That schedule had likely been going on for 15 years if not longer. The next question was why I read it so much.

The result of the conversation made me curious though, how many times do I read a full book of the Bible every year? I still do my morning reading routine, so that's an easy calculation of once for every book. Two years ago, I adjusted my night ritual after getting a John MacArthur (JM) study Bible. It has small print with bright white pages, so my eyes can't take it nightly. Therefore, I read it four nights a week and another study Bible the remaining three nights.

Reading all the Scripture and commentary in the JM Bible makes slow progress. However, I started in Genesis late in 2025 and I'm just now starting Isiah. It will take me more than a year to get through, but that's okay. In my other study Bible, I am skipping around some with having read Psalms-Song of Songs/Solomon before returning to the New Testament again. I also read two chapters in the New Testament every day for a month, but that can take a year to read one full book depending on the length.

At this point in 2026, with my various reading plans combined, I have read Psalms, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, and Song of Songs three times. Isiah's 66 chapters will take quite a while at night, but I feel quite confident I will get through it before the end of the year. By the end of 2026, I'm guessing I will have read all the New Testament twice and likely another 5-6 of the Old Testament beyond what I said earlier.

With all this Bible reading, I don't consider myself an expert or even know where to find every reference. While my eyes are going over the text, my mind isn't always along the same course of study. It's a part of this quad life I enjoy and feel wrong the rare times I miss one of my studies. I'm thankful to live in a country where I can freely read the Bible and have easy access both digital and print format. I may change the routines again sometime, but for now, I plan to continue studying and teach when I can.

Another Loss, am I Now the Oldest?

Last weekend, the US, and other countries, celebrated the country's 250th birthday. While it was a time of celebration for some, it was a time of mourning for others. On July 3, while checking Facebook, I saw that my friend Brett Klusaw had passed away. He was 45 years old and had been a quadriplegic for 43 years.

Brett was one of two fellow quads I knew that had been injured longer than me. The other, Chuck Foss, died in 2024 also after 43 years of living the quad life. With Brett's passing, I no longer know anyone that has been injured longer than me. At 41 years post injury, I do not desire the title of longest living quadriplegic. It's an honor I genuinely hope somebody else holds and we just haven't met each other. Until then, I guess I presume the title whether I want to or not.

Other than being old quads, Brett and I didn't share a lot of similar interests. Nevertheless, he only lived a few hours away in Omaha, NE and I hoped to meet him in person. We tried last year, but it didn't work out due to scheduling. I last communicated with Brett in April and thought this may be the year to meet. However, he was having trouble with pressure sores (sounds familiar) and I didn't want to push anything if he was decreasing sitting time.

Most weeks, I email a friend who is a retired pastor, but had tremendous impact on my church and helped me to get my license to exhort. Even though I am decades younger, we both have the experience of losing friends around our own age. It's for different reasons, but similar feelings. My regret is that I never had a gospel conversation with Brett.

The few times we talked via Facebook messenger, it was generally discussing ideas on how to treat different challenges we were facing. His timeline mainly consisted of sports references or decorating for an upcoming holiday. It's good to see nothing posted bashing Christianity, like some I've seen, but nothing supportive either. While I know it's the Holy Spirit's role to act on someone's heart in conversion, but it has still been in my thoughts in the week since his death.

It is a reminder to never let an opportunity go by that you don't share the gospel with someone. Some ministries advocate friendship evangelism and getting to know the person for several months, or years, before getting into spiritual matters. However, none of us are guaranteed another day or even another minute in this life. Waiting doesn't always work or provide opportunity to share the good news of salvation.

For this coming week ahead, be sure to be mindful to share your faith, even with casual friends. Even though we all sin and are guilty before God, Jesus provided the way of salvation for all who repent and trust in Him alone, not our works. That is what I will try to be more active in doing as well as remembering our limited role.

Weekend of Freedom and Celebration

Yesterday, America celebrated 250 years of becoming an independent country. While no nation has truly been Christian, the US has come the closest.

The founding fathers wrote in the Declaration of Independence that all men are created equal and are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights. From the country's foundation, God was acknowledged and the reason for our rights. Later on the 1st Amendment guaranteed all citizens the right to practice their faith and not have government force a certain belief.

At the time, the Catholic church was dominant in Europe and held strong influence over nations and local jurisdictions. As the protestant movement crew, Catholic leaders made it so that anyone who didn't follow Catholicism could be arrested, and most were killed for their faith. In this environment, being able to worship freely was indeed a welcome idea.

Today, the so called separation of church and state is taken to extremes. When prayer is allowed at public schools, or the Ten Commandments posted, it is strongly protested. At the same time, humanism is freely taught by saying evolution is the reason everything exists and God has no place in science.

This morning, I preached along a patriotic line using Romans 13:1-7. All leaders, whether good or bad, have been appointed by God. When they make rules that don't go against God's commands, then we are to obey them as commanded. The example I used was obeying the speed limit. Just as telling one lie makes you a liar, or one murder a murderer, so one mile-per-hour over breaks the law. Even if police won't pick you up unless you're much faster, it still breaks the command.

Unfortunately, as America becomes more secular and turns away from her roots and Christianity, not all laws and regulations are biblical. I recently heard of a 5th grade boy who was required to read a book to a Kindergartner about being trans. This went against the boy's belief as a Christian and he protested on reading it. Unfortunately, it is now up to courts deciding the student's freedom of speech.

I am thankful for the 250 years God has blessed this country. I continue to pray that leaders will truly come to Him and live as God commands. Many today twist Scripture to their own desires and not what it actually means.

Have a great remaining time of celebration and may we look to God's law as our basis for government and living. 

Progress Made in Answers

Sometimes, I have to wait long periods for insurance approvals and then see what treatment I will be allowed to use. This week was not one of those times and progress was made on getting questions answered, but not sure on full solutions.

Tuesday was the first visit of the week. Jeff, a technician for my diaphragm pacemaker, flew in to Des Moines and arrived in my bedroom at noon, just as planned. I reiterated what I had experienced and he was soon off to work on my DPS patch.

While Jeff works on the wires, the system doesn't work and I have to breath on my own. I had anticipated a lengthy time of breathing exercise, but just two three-minute periods was all he needed. The old silicon that had become like glue was removed, wires inspected, and new silicon added for protection. He said it usually happens when the patch gets wet. I couldn't think of a time it had, but noted to be more aware of it.

The repair maybe took 10 minutes total. I have seen Jeff a couple times in my 15+ years of using the DPS and we always got along well. After another 30 minutes of getting caught up, he headed back to the airport to catch his flight home. I don't know how his company does these maintenance visits so easily, but I'm very appreciative of them.

Thursday evening, I emailed my wheelchair tech to see if I could get scheduled for a pressure mapping of my chair. After a few messages Friday morning, he was in my room that afternoon with the needed equipment. My day caregiver had called off sick, but thankfully dad was available to move me around.

First, he noticed my chair's seat cushion was low on air, even though it had been pumped up a few weeks ago. Submerging the cushion in my parent's bathtub confirmed no air leaks, so it was dried off and further inflated. After I was sat in my chair, the cushion was partially deflated to its optimal thickness. Testing with the mapping system showed everything looking good.

Unlike last November, I also asked to test my bed while sitting. It took a few tries to get the system properly placed, but it did reveal increased pressure in the area I'm having trouble. The colors didn't look bad to me, but he recommended sitting in bed for 30 minutes at a time, 45 at the most. My usual schedule is 1-1.5 hours of sitting and then flat for the same period. That already makes it difficult to get work done, cutting time down further will be very hard to do. I could possibly do more while in my chair, but my computer and everything else isn't setup for it.

As of this writing, I haven't changed my schedule much, but have shortened upright time a little. I'm scheduled to preach the next two weeks and will have end/beginning of the month items to do for web work. As I always say, living the quad life has challenges. No matter what, I will rely on God's guidance and strength to get through.

What's a Schedule?

In Proverbs, we read that man makes many plans, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails. This week has been one of change and adjustment.

Tuesday, Sara, my day-time caregiver, thought the new skin area was looking worse. Therefore, I called my dermatologist to see if I could get in any earlier than my late July appointment. A few hours later, I had an appointment for Thursday that someone had cancelled. This was good news, but required rescheduling my hair cut. That is actually a challenging task, but was done.

My doctor wasn't too concerned and said it currently looks superficial. However, he doubled a steroid I've been taking to encourage protein absorption. He also ordered a new treatment to the area, but insurance is now debating if they will cover it or not. I'm thankful to be making more effort in this area, but that's not the only problem.

Every few weeks, my caregivers change a patch on the right side of my chest that connects to my diaphragm pacemaker. In the first few years I had it, I had trouble with wires getting damaged and not working. The solution at that time was to put some silicone gel to restore connection. That worked, but other improvements made this need obsolete and everything has been working well for at least a decade.

For about a month, when changing the patch, one of my caregivers said the silicone was getting sticky and adhering to the dressing over it. I consulted with my other caregivers and an expert nurse on the system, and they weren't concerned. Early this week, I had a different nurse change the patch, and he had the same issue, but maybe a little worse. Wednesday morning, I emailed a different technician on the DPS than I did previously to check his thoughts. He now has flight plans and should arrive Tuesday to work on my patch. What one person thought was fine, another says it needs immediate repair.

Things I had planned to do this week didn't happen and what I hadn't expected to do did happen. Late Tuesday morning, I spoke to a class of Occupational Therapy Assistants. One of their questions was if I could work a full-time job. I answered that I did a couple full-time temp jobs after college, but that was 23 years ago. At this point in the quad life, especially with my caregiver schedule, it would not be a possibility. It seems like I spend an increasing amount of time just trying to maintain my health. 

With all these unexpected twists, I'm especially thankful for my dad. He continues to make sure I have a working vehicle I can use and works at least full-time so I can keep medical insurance. As my physical needs change, I also become more dependent on his care when I don't have caregivers.

God has blessed me with great parents that do so much for me. I never know how long we will be able to continue, but am thankful for all the years so far and look forward to another week to come. 

Mounting Pressure or Something Else?

After preaching last week Sunday, I looked forward to a week at home where I could get caught up on work and prepare to preach again today. Monday, I did my regular routine of checking my skin for any problems. Both times, my front side looked fine as far as I could see. I don't often mess with flipping to my side and setup mirrors to see my posterior and often rely on my caregiver's eyes.

Tuesday morning, Sara my caregiver was doing my morning leg stretches and saw a bandage that normally doesn't exist. Further investigating discovered a new open area under my upper right leg that my night nurse must have seen.

It wasn't long ago that I saw my dermatologist about the sore on my left leg that I have had for years. He was elated at how good it looked and to keep up the good work. Since I saw him in late April, I haven't changed any of my routine and did not expect a new area to open.

Therefore, I made sure to bike all three times I could this week. Sara noticed my chair's seat cushion was a little spongy, so she pumped more air into it. I also slightly decreased my evening upright time in favor of laying flat more. Sara said it was looking better on Friday than it did Tuesday, but still existed.

With 41 years of living the quad life, this type of development isn't new. Even with that, it's still frustrating when it happens.

Logging in to write this week's entry, I was reminded of the treatment I had on the same leg just a little over a week ago. I haven't had trouble with treatment before, but the last time was three years ago. It's possible the combination of a few factors caused the issue, but I won't know.

Other than today's preaching, I only have one outing scheduled this week. I'll wait and see if I have to drastically limit activities or if the current changes help make progress.

Even with decreasing my time upright, I was thankful to be able to either complete or make progress on a few web projects. One morning, just before leaving my room to bike, I got a call from one of my clients that they were having email trouble. Of course I prefer everything to stay working, but the occasional need for help is somewhat fun. I get to research and find solutions then see if it fixes the problem. This time, one minor setting change fixed everything and they were back to normal operations again.

In some respects, when things are going well, we may forget to look to God and give thanks for all we have. When a problem, like a new sore, arises, then we call on God more quickly and seek His help in everything. You never know what a week may bring, but I can be certain that nothing is out of God's control.