Gift of Christmas

It's the last Sunday before Christmas. Stores have had Christmas displays for several months, but last minute shoppers were out in force this weekend finding bargains. Tuesday afternoon will likely be the same, as some wait to get gifts until the last minute. No matter what material positions are under the tree this year, we can't forget the true gift that was given 2,000 years ago.

Romans 6:23 says, "For the wages of sin is death, but the gracious gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." Ever since Adam sinned, death has been a constant for all mankind. Everyone inherits the sin nature, and therefore earn our wages. A simple look at the Ten Commandments, and honestly judging ourselves, will show our sins.

However, the Creator of the universe, the King of kings and Lord of lords, willingly humbled himself and came in the form of a helpless baby. The One who knows every star by name, and had angels announce His arrival, had to be fed, carried around, and changed. Later on, this same Jesus died on the cross for our sins, and made it that His perfect life is seen as ours. This gift of everlasting life is for all who repent of sin and trust in God alone for salvation.

Just like gifts under the tree this Christmas, we can't do anything to merit or deserve them. If we did, it would just be a form of payment. However, in response to this gift, we can show thanks by telling others, giving thanks to God, and doing His will. Unlike material gifts, this one will not grow old, outdated, or appear somewhere else as a white elephant gift. We also don't want to wait until the last minute to receive it.

Every day, more than 150,000 people die, and we don't know when our time will come. Some people say they will repent on their death bed, but they may not get that chance. Don't do like last minute shoppers, today if you hear His voice, don't wait.

I'm thankful for this gift in the quad life and pray it will be the focus of your celebrations this week. Have a very Merry Christmas!

Busy Quad Week

Most weeks, excluding my medical routines, I feel I do regular activities to other men. I work on whatever is needed for my job, study Scripture, and play some games for relaxation. This week though, has been mainly quad life activities.

The first four nights, Sunday through Wednesday, did not have a night nurse scheduled. Mom and I did the regular routine of staying up until 1:30 when dad took over. He finishes my cares around 2:00 and I

can sleep until around 7:45, if my body lets me. One or two nights is okay, but four gets hard. I had a couple afternoons I tried taking a nap for 30-45 minutes. If someone came into my room, they would maybe see a foot sticking out, but I am otherwise cocooned under pillows and sheets.

Monday, Brenda worked her regular shift and then another four hours Tuesday night so my parents could rest more. Unfortunately, that was her last regular shift with me. Brenda has finished her schooling in Iowa and now returned to her home in Arizona. When she started at age 19 in early 2022, I wasn't sure what we were getting into. However, she has been a blessing from God that my family has greatly benefited from. I'm thankful for the unique skills I was able to teach her and hope they will be useful in Brenda's future career. Now, I pray my remaining daytime caregivers will be able to cover all five days a week again.

Last Thursday, December 5, I made my regular monthly medication order. I had received a letter from insurance that rules had changed for one, but it sounded like it only needed an updated prescription. As with most things insurance related, that wasn't the case. Every day this week I had to call or email either my pharmacy, doctor's office, or insurance. First one thing was needed, then another, and at least once it looked like I could no longer get it. This Friday, I had a note from my doctor that insurance approved the medication and the pharmacy delivered it that day. Technically, I ran out of my month supply that day, but I've learned to accumulate a few extra with strategic order times.

I'm looking forward to a regular week coming up as we prepare for Christmas. I have also had trouble with a very stuffy nose and sore trach button the last few days, but I pray it clears up. Have a great final week before Christmas!

To Lift or Not Lift

Lately it seems like it's one thing after another that gives problems. This week, it was a device that has been working well for decades that decided to stop.

In 1994, a few months after moving into our new house, dad installed a lift on my bedroom ceiling. At that time, my nurses used it daily to get me in and and of bed for school. Now, my caregivers still use it every time I get up, just not as often. This past Monday, I went to get up to bike, but the lift's hook wouldn't go down to connect to the sling underneath me.

That night, dad looked at it and couldn't find obvious problems other than some green goo in the main control wire. He tried cleaning it out Monday and Tuesday evening, but couldn't get it completely clean. It was a mystery of where to look next or how to fix it.

Wednesday, my caregiver noticed a phone number on the machine. I figured it had been disconnected long ago, but it actually rang and a very helpful person from the lift company answered. He gave direction on other areas to look and emergency controls that none of us knew existed. That evening, I relayed my new lift knowledge to dad and, after some ingenuity, he was able to get it cleared out and working again. I got up on Friday and Saturday with some slight lift hiccups, but they were successful flights.

We often take things for granted, until they stop working. I've been thankful for the last three decades that I can get out of bed without relying solely on dad. My parents were able to take a few days away, and I figured I would be stuck in bed all week. I'm glad that wasn't the case and the problem was solved before they left.

Matthew 6:34 says to not worry about tomorrow as each day has enough trouble of its own. That has been the quad life this week, but I'm thankful to know God has every day, and minute, covered.

Mattress Matters

I spend most of my time in bed. It is where I can change positions easily and my computer is most accessible. Doing my medical cares are also easiest when laying down, so it's where I spend my time. Therefore, I use my air mattress a lot and depend on it being stable.

Unfortunately, the mattress I was using was around 10 years old and was sinking in whenever I sat. In January, I started working on a replacement. Not all air mattresses are made to be able to sit, and finding a provider turned out to be quite a challenge. In June, I was introduced to another equipment supplier that had mattress options I could use.

The next few months were spent on paperwork and several weeks of silence. The person I started working with left the company and nobody contacted me to follow-up. Finally, early this month, I received my new mattress and dad got it setup on my bed. After 11 months' of work, I was glad to be finished and looked forward to no leaks and sinking. However, the joy didn't last very long.

It has now been three weeks since I started using the new system and most of my caregivers, and I, don't like it. No matter what position I'm in, I sink in and am hard to reposition. When I sit, the mattress has a special "sit mode" that we are all having trouble remembering to turn on and off.

When dad investigated my old mattress, he found a hose with a hole when I was sitting. He swapped it around with another one and likely fixed the issue, within an hour. 

So far, I haven't heard of switching back to my old mattress. It's frustrating that the new one wasn't a better solution, but I guess I learned what not to get. Such is the quad life, but I'm thankful to have options to try and at least have a good backup if, or when, it's needed.

Giving Thanks in 2024

Once again, we have reached the week of Thanksgiving. All month, I have seen a couple friends posting an item of thanks every day. I liked the idea, but inevitably forgot to do it and only posted a few times. Despite my forgetfulness, or distraction, I try to find reasons for thanks in any situation.

This year was my first in several years that I had serious medical issues. I am thankful to have been home for over a month and feel back to normal again. Throughout the process, I was thankful for first responders that were available when needed. Also, God's care was evident with providing caregivers that would listen to my family and I and learn my needs. My parents continue to be a large blessing in all that they do for me, including staying multiple nights in the hospital.

In August, my grandmother passed away at the age of 94. I am thankful for all the years God gave me with my grandmother and everything she and grandpa did throughout my life. I know many people never got to meet their grand parents, let alone have decades with them. Their memories continue to live in all of their family.

Most of all, I'm thankful for God's gift of salvation and sacrifice of His Son. As I grow older and continue studying God's Word, I increasingly realize my depravity of sin and need for forgiveness. I know there isn't anything I can do to pay for my sin debt. As Paul wrote, where sin abounds, grace abounds more (Romans 5:20).

When I see friends, and family, continue to reject God's gift and live in rebellion, it hurts my heart in knowing the fate that awaits them. However, I'm thankful I can continue to be a witness to them and pray that they come to Christ while they can.

Thank you to my readers for continuing to follow my random musings in the quad life. I pray that you have a great week and day of thanks!

Only 1% are saved?

Over the last few months, I have been asked the same question by very different people; "Will only 1% of people be saved?" Apparently, articles have been getting circulated that say 99.9% of people from all of history will go to hell. I tried looking for further information, but only found a paper from Australia in 2023 that pondered a quote from Charles Spurgeon. However, it's something that has raised concern and is an item I thought I would comment on.

First, the Bible does not give an exact number or reference on how many people God has, and will, save from hell. Revelation 7:4-8 does say 144,000 who will be receive God's seal, but keep reading. Verse nine says, "After these things I looked, and behold, a great multitude which no one could count, from every nation and all tribes and peoples and tongues, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed in white robes, and palm branches were in their hands."

In the Old Testament, we read lists of numbers of people from different tribes. When David ordered a census of the nation, the total number of men able to go to war was over a million. This is to say that the inspired writers of Scripture were quite capable of counting and listing large numbers. While the number is large, we also know it won't be everyone who has ever lived.

In John 14:6 Jesus said, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father but through Me.” Modern evangelism and some "churches" teach that all roads lead to Jesus and it doesn't matter if you follow Mohamed, Mary, or Marxism. This has produced many people who claim to be Christian, but don't give any adherence to God's law. Just a few verses later, Jesus said "If you love Me, you will keep My commandments." (John 14:15)

Matthew 7 warns that people who claim to follow Christ and do things in His name are not following Him or known by Him. Therefore, everyone must carefully examine themselves (2 Corinthians 13:5) and follow the narrow road that leads to God (Matthew 7:13-14).

Therefore, does that give an answer? No, not at all. We need to be careful to not put limits or numbers on God when they don't exist. Only those that have repented of sin and trust in Christ alone for salvation will be saved. We will never know what the total is, at least in this life, and should be incentive to continue reaching out to preach the gospel.

Challenges of Online Witnessing

I am always learning and figuring out how to do new things. In 2016, I finished the online School of Biblical Evangelism. It helped increase my faith and understanding of Scripture as well as how to reach out and share the gospel. Since then, I have opportunity to serve with outreach groups during the Iowa State Fair and locally. These times of service are great, but they're only a few days a year. What do I do for outreach the rest of the time?

One of the groups I've volunteered with has had more outreach opportunities in Iowa. Unfortunately, they are usually on a Saturday when I don't have help and several hours away from home. While I may want to join them, it doesn't work due to logistics. Some friends also have just gone out locally and will do things like read Scripture in the park, but that again is challenging with everything else. Therefore, I turn to other methods.

When I preach, the majority of my messages have some sort of gospel message where I present the law and need for repentance. Studies, and pastors, have shown that even those who regularly attend church have not necessarily come to saving faith in Christ. They are what some call "Sunday Christians," in that they act godly on Sunday morning, but the opposite the rest of the week.

The place I have the most opportunity to witness to Christ is online, but this is also the hardest. Most days, I will post a Bible verse, or two, on Facebook. I also give gospel references on my YouTube channel, but I haven't been as diligent about it as I should recently. Finally, I have a few atheist friends online that I correspond with and tell the truth about God. One particular is very hateful toward anything Christian and posts memes of all types attacking the Bible, Christians, or anything else. I do not respond to every one, but do some with a Bible verse or correction of some sort.

Unlike in person though, you can't discuss back and forth as easily and conversation can easily get off track. Other times, it can be a seemingly endless trade of links supporting both sides of a topic and "proving" the other one false. After 2-3 rounds, the conversation usually stops and another can start. Wherever it stops, or starts, I pray for wisdom and that the person I'm talking with will come to Christ while time allows.

I'm thankful God has allowed me to use this quad life to spread His Word. I continue to look for opportunities and learn what helps, and what doesn't.

Priorities

Every four years, Americans get the opportunity to vote for the next president, and other political leaders. For the last 2-3 elections, it seems each one has been the most pivotal moment for our country. They also have a way of making friends and neighbors become bitterly divided against each other.

Depending on your views and life circumstances, most people have different priorities. For some, it can be healthcare, others may see the economy, military, environment, or anything number of issues as important. Ever since I registered to vote, I have been registered as an independent. Therefore, I don't stand with a particular party, but evaluate each candidate on their priorities.

As a Christian, I base my thinking and decisions on the Bible and what God has said. Therefore, one top priority is protecting life at all stages, starting from conception. Unfortunately, the Democratic party has become very strong on supporting, and expanding, the murder of children through abortion. That alone cuts out votes for that party's candidates, but the Republican party is also becoming soft on this issue. This makes the line on one priority slightly blurred, but it's still pretty defined, for this year at least.

Most of my caregivers and I talk very little, if at all, about politics. It's not a subject I give a lot of attention and prefer it that way. Unfortunately, one caregiver, and especially her husband, are heavily into advocating for one party and the topic frequently comes up on her shift. It gets very uncomfortable to have someone be adamant for a candidate that goes against everything Christianity cherishes, while denying plain facts. In these days, I pray for peace, guidance, and clear thought to articulate views and back them up with information.

After Tuesday, America should know who has been chosen for president for the next four years. Whatever the result, we need to remember that God is King of kings and Lord of lords and all nations and leaders are subject to Him. Living the quad life allows me to interact with a variety of people and I pray that my influence, on any topic, points to Christ first.

Losing Another Friend

Living the quad life means you're generally living alone. Yes, I'm surrounded by family and caregivers at all times, but I rarely see any other high-level quadriplegics. There are a few other wheelchair users in my small town, other than elderly, but none have the same health needs like me. Therefore, I have learned to advocate for my needs and how to teach medical professionals.

When I was a kid, and adult, I enjoyed spending time at CHAMP Camp every summer. It was a fun week, but also a time to be around other people like myself. Thankfully, social media has allowed much easier contact for all kinds of social groups, including quadriplegics. I have posted about friends I have met this way before, and one of them was Chuck Foss.

I was introduced to Chuck through a quad friend's wife. Through initial introduction, I learned Chuck lived in Maine and received his spinal cord injury four years before me. That makes him the longest living quadriplegic I have met. For most of Chuck's SCI years, he also used a diaphragm pacemaker similar to mine. Chuck's advice was very helpful when I was transitioning off the vent and it helped me get on the pacemaker faster.

Chuck and I communicated a few times by email and video chat, but never met in person. Our most recent collaboration was helping with a Christian outreach packet he was working on. I was thankful to see his good grasp of the Christian faith and doing more evangelism than many others do.

Tuesday afternoon, I was checking Facebook, and saw a notice that Chuck had passed away a few days earlier. He was 58 years old and lived 43 years after receiving his injury at age 15. Messaging Chuck's sister, I learned he died after a major bowel surgery that did not heal properly. This post is now one month after I was hospitalized for digestive problems.

I have seen many quad friends pass away, but Chuck is the first to have more injured years than me. That means I now move up to the second longest living quadriplegic I know. I don't know if God will give me another four years, but I do pray to live it for His glory. Chuck will be missed by all who knew him, but I'm thankful that he is now free of earthly trouble and has entered eternity with a new body in the presence of God.

Sermon Writing Block

The year is winding down and cooler temps have started to replace the wonderful warmth of summer. That means it will not be long until my winter hibernation begins. Before it does though, I am scheduled to preach with two more groups.

Next Sunday afternoon, I agreed to speak at a local retirement home's church service. Once again, this will be a new experience and I'm not quite sure what I will be getting into. I have been told it is just like any other church service with singing and a time of studying Scripture. Therefore, I am preparing a message just as I normally do, at least I'm trying.

The last time I preached was September 1, and that was the conclusion of the twelve-week class I took. Trying to include everything that was required and then incorporating what was expected while preaching, it was a difficult message to give. I very frequently recycle messages and preach the same thing for different congregations. However, I don't plan to give that message again, at least not in the near future. Remembering class also makes me recall the falling away of the instructor and why I won't receive any tangible recognition of the effort.

I was scheduled to preach on October 6, and was asked to for October 13 as well, but I canceled and declined them. Being in the hospital at the time, I knew I wouldn't be ready to lead a church. Looking back at recovery the last few weeks, I'm thankful I did not agree to these invitations. Now, I'm a week away from preaching and have all these distractions in mind. I decided to make a new message for this group, but it hasn't been progressing as I had hoped.

One advantage I have is that I know the audience is all retirees, mostly in their 70's, 80's, and above. Therefore, my message doesn't need to fit multiple generations that are in various stages of life. I do have my passage determined and have written a message, but it still doesn't seem right. Hopefully with this week to go, it will get finalized to something I feel is good to present.

Such is the busy quad life, health concerns one week and sermon prep the next. Whatever I'm doing, I'm thankful to be used by God and trust Him wherever He leads.

Recovery Week

Another week has gone and I'm finally feeling back to normal, primarily anyway.

As I wrote in the final entry for my hospital stay, I was starting to improve. The first four days home felt like a struggle to do anything for more than 15 minutes without feeling completely exhausted. In the last ten days, I think I've taken more purposeful naps than I have in the last ten years. What bothered me most, was knowing I had work to do.

Most of the web work I do doesn't have a big impact on business and waiting an extra week, or more, for an update won't be a major problem. Yes, it means people won't get to preview their church bulletins early or review the latest sermon as quickly, but they will come eventually. Of course this round of hospital stays couldn't have been worse for one client.

A few weeks prior to my medical hiatus, I had been working with a long-term client and a web designer to get their new site online. We had communication trouble at first, as well as some challenges in getting logistics figured out, but the client's site finally got moved for the world to see. The next day was when I had my first ER visit.

My friend John has access to my email and business information and was monitoring everything for me. Unfortunately, a problem came up that potential customers couldn't contact my client due to a form not working. In my head, I knew exactly what needed to be done, but it has been several years since John helped with any "hands on" web development. Trying to explain the necessary steps with little voice didn't go well. It was the first thing I forced myself to do when I got home, but one of the steps didn't work as usual. The issue was finally resolved Wednesday, but I feel bad it was delayed over a week because of my health.

Part of hospital stays also include getting blood tests and an I.V. However, I'm a very hard stick and my right arm looked like I had lost a fight when I got home due to all the bruising. Thankfully, it has also returned to normal and doesn't look like any permanent damage. 

Now, I need to find a way for my parents to get time to recover. They had hoped to have a day on their own Friday, but my day caregiver was only able to do half her shift. Such is the story of the quad life family, but I pray this new week will be back to normal routine.

Crashing Oxygen, Third ER Trip

Monday morning, September 30, my nursing student caregiver, Brenda, started my regular morning routine. She had last worked on Wednesday and I wanted to get her caught up on everything. However, my voice had gone from regular sound and volume the night before to a soft squeak. Even with getting some sleep, I was very tired. I asked Brenda to take my blood pressure, and it was 88/54, only slightly below my normal. Taking it an hour later found it to be 78/45.

After her regular class, Brenda returned around 11:00 and I asked to get undressed and turned on my side to try to rest. As soon as I was turned, I felt very strange and not well. We stopped mom as she was leaving for work, Brenda could no longer find my blood pressure and my oxygen was reading in the low 70's. Mom called 911 and the familiar EMT's from the previous week were soon in my room. Before transferring off my bed, they put me on a large amount of oxygen to help stabilize my numbers. With Brenda at my side, I now took my third trip to the local ER in less than a week.

More tests were started, including a CT scan of my upper body. Despite being cleared from having pneumonia the previous evening, this was now my diagnosis by 3:30 in the afternoon. I would now be admitted again for an unknown time period. The air mattress and supplies dad had removed from the hospital the day before needed to return again.

Later that evening, in my new hospital room, mom and I went over my cares with the nurse, including bathroom needs. My routine was apparently unheard of, and likely not necessary, according to the 30-year veteran nurse. Once again, my parents were responsible for my care and stayed with me over night. At least a tube in my nose for oxygen was easier to manage than an NG tube.

Wednesday morning, I was down to 0.5 liters of oxygen in order to maintain an O2 saturation of at least 90%. Brenda came to stay with me and give my parents a much needed break. The hospital took my oxygen tube off to see if I could well enough to go home. Eating lunch very slowly, Brenda monitored my stats and when I needed to stop and rest. With numbers barely within range, I was released to return home Wednesday afternoon. Getting in my chair, it felt like I could pass out, but only Brenda and I shared this information so I could get home.

These three updates were written on Saturday and Sunday, October 5-6. Since returning home, I have been very tired and have taken several naps. I'm also having other quad life issues that I hope resolve soon. My friend John monitored my email, but I'm still behind on clients' updates and getting out monthly invoices.

Through this experience, it is an apparent reminder to never take time for granted or depend on each day going well. Sitting in a dark hospital room at night, five minutes seem to take an eternity. Looking forward to getting my mouth swabbed so I could get a few drops of water was a major highlight. I also know God has provided everything I need, long before I'm aware.

I pray it will be several years again, if ever, that I have to go to the hospital via ER. Whatever comes, I will trust in God's plan.

Shaking Body, Second ER Trip

As we were leaving the hospital at 12:00, my head spasms increased to include my upper body. It was now a rhythmic tumult where my head would leave my head rest, go forward, then return. I could try to counteract the undulation, but the movement made driving a challenge.

Mom noticed the spasms as well after I pointed out I wasn't doing it on purpose. It was a concern, but we didn't think it was too serious. Over the next few hours, the spasms continued to get worse. Within my four-second breath cycle, I would be pushed off the bed, fall back, and repeat. After multiple nights without sleep, I was also exhausted and wanted to sleep. Mom called a nurse friend who suggested muscle relaxers and it could be due to missing meds for two days.

While dad went to get Benedryl, I took two of mom's Tylenol arthritis as the directions indicated. Thirty minutes later, I also took two of the Benedryl as directions recommended. Swallowing was a major challenge as I had to time my breaths and head movement just right. Concentrating, I managed to get most of the medication, but also choked on some of them. Attempting to lay on my side to rest, no position worked. My upper body continued to thrash back and forth with no relief and increasing strength. I felt bad asking my parents to move me every few minutes, but I didn't know what else to do.

By 5:30, the spasms had increased to the point I barely had any control of my head. With my upper body nearly out of control, it seemed like my diaphragm would be next. I told dad I likely didn't have long to be breathing and needed to get back to the ER. In the blink of an eye, he had me dressed and ready for my chair. To get up, dad unhooked my diaphragm pacemaker as usual. This time, the wire on my side came out of place and it took longer to reconnect my breathing aid than normal. As I sat unable to do my self-breathing, my head started to buzz, but I didn't feel any panic. I had been praying for relief from the spasms and felt like my time with earthly concerns would soon be over. A welcome gulp of air resumed our frenzied trip for help.

Somehow, I managed to drive out to the garage and get loaded in the van. Dad and I left for the ER while mom planned to follow us soon. For the six-block commute to the hospital, I felt the outside air breeze through the van's window and a great calm came over me. We arrived at the ER faster than any ambulance would have transported me and I drove inside after dad got me unloaded. Sitting near the check-in desk giving my information, I suddenly noticed the spasms were completely gone and I once again had normal body control.

Over the next three hours, nearly every test possible was conducted. I was x-rayed for pneumonia, had bladder tests, blood tests, and I recalled what had just been a scary few hours. Everything came back fine, and the only conclusion was a possible overdose of medication. Laying in the ER, I felt better than I had in days and was ready to go home.

Driving back, I noticed water on the van's windshield and concluded it had rained while we were inside. In the garage, the same liquid seemed to float off the glass in some sort of evaporation. Laying in my own bed again, I looked at the beam over me for my lift and noticed it also looked wet and had hundreds of bugs crawling around it. I knew this couldn't be the case, but it was still what I saw. My night nurse noted that one of my meds, Tizanidine, had a side effect of hallucinations, especially when going from completely off it to restarting.

The night included seeing items that didn't exist and low oxygen saturation. I didn't know it would be my only night at home before another scary morning.

Plans Change, First Trip to ER

In Proverbs, Solomon points out that plans for the next day may be different than expected and not to boast about tomorrow. Since my last entry two weeks ago, I have had two hospital stays and three ER visits. They weren't fun, but will be the topic for three entries. I want the experiences documented for both myself and anyone they may help.

Late in the evening, on Wednesday, September 25, my stomach wasn't feeling good and I hardly had any supper. Thankfully, everything seemed to be working correctly and didn't seem like a bowel obstruction as I've had before. The night started out well, but just kept getting worse with stomach discomfort and increasingly difficulty breathing. Around 4:00 AM, my nurse and I decided to push through the night and get to morning. By 7:00, a final effort to try to clear my gut didn't achieve the desired outcome and we decided it was time for the hospital.

Any time I sat, I couldn't breathe, and therefore thought ambulance would be best. Despite mom's request, the EMS refused to take me to Des Moines and would only transport to our local hospital. My parents and I knew they weren't equipped to handle my needs, but we didn't have a choice. After a quick transport from home, I was in the ER by 7:45 Thursday morning.

I told the ER doctor my experience and knew I needed to get an NG tube. Personal experience apparently meant nothing and the next several hours were spent waiting and getting tests. Around noon, I finally got the tube I had requested, but not as needed. A total of two nurses took five tries to finally get the tube in my stomach instead of popping out my mouth. Drinking water multiple times to get it to go the correct direction only hindered my predicament. Instead of connecting my new hardware to a suction machine, it was used to force a contrasting liquid to my stomach. However, the second push of fluid resulted in a reverse of contents, and I then had to sit another two hours for a CT scan.

Finally, by 3:30, it was decided I had a bowel obstruction and needed my system emptied. It only took nine hours to do as I requested. Diagnosis also meant a new doctor, one who specializes with the gut. Upon on our initial meeting, he was already familiar with my history and was aware this hospital couldn't accommodate me. Des Moines didn't have any beds available, so I had to stay where I was. Dr. H wrote orders to basically undo any rules about family help. Retrieving my air mattress from home, dad and hospital staff soon had a room ready. For the next three nights, and mostly days, my parents had to stay with me and take care of my needs.

Laying awake at night, I counted breaths, watched the clock tick, and didn't sleep. During night shift, the nurse would come to take my vitals three times. I asked for ice packs for my head, but that was about the only interaction I had with hospital staff. After two days with no medications, food, or drink, the NG tube was removed Saturday and I could have a liquid diet.

Sunday morning, while mom was home resting, dad and I watched our church's morning service. At the same time, the doctor came and said I was released and could return home. I was thankful for the news, but asked about something that had started that morning. My head kept having regular spasms and would force me to look up. Dr. H attributed it to stress and being tired and that it would stop soon. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case and it would result in scary circumstances very soon.

Who to Trust?

Most people have someone they look up to or admire. For kids, it may be their parents, and adults may point to athletes, experts in various fields, or even pastors. Whoever the person is, the admirer usually wants to be more like them and learn from their success. Unfortunately, we need to be very careful when looking to fellow mankind as people held in high esteem can, and do, fail.

On September 1, I concluded my class on preaching after nearly 12-weeks of work. The main instructor was Dr. Steve Lawson, who had 28 lectures about 30-minutes each. I have heard Dr. Lawson preach a number of times and mostly enjoyed his messages. The final video for class included tips on growing in preaching by listening to other pastors and a reminder to live what you preach. If you preach on not stealing, but take funds from an employer for example. you're not living as a Christian pastor. James 3:1 says that not many should become teachers, or preachers, as they will be held in higher judgment.

A few days ago, I was on YouTube and a suggested video came up from a Christian news source I follow. The main heading read, "Steve Lawson Removed from Pastoral Ministry." Watching the episode, I learned that Dr. Lawson had reported to his church leadership that he had an inappropriate relationship with a woman. As a result, he was immediately removed from his role as lead pastor and will be gone for an indefinite period of time.

Dr. Lawson is a man who many looked up to as a model pastor and have learned much from his teaching, I am one of them. This came as quite the surprise for a lot of people, but it's also a reminder that everyone has temptation, the heart is deceitfully wicked, and no one is good. That includes me and every pastor or leader anywhere.

We need to look to God alone as our admiration and to follow His teaching. Jesus was greatly tempted, but yet never sinned. He then took our punishment that all who trust in Him alone will be saved.

I pray for Dr. Lawson and all those who struggle with temptation. Living the quad life does not free me from wanting to go my own way instead of God's. Let this reminder make us check our own heart and to cut temptation however needed.

Learning Voice Little by Little

Back in July, I have my annual dentist appointment. Everything looked good, except for my two front teeth which he said were showing signs of wear due to my mouth stick. Ever since then I've been trying to use voice control on my computer. I am far from using it exclusively, but I have learned a few things.

One of the hardest things on my teeth is using the mouse. Therefore, this is where I try to decrease using my stick and use voice instead. Sometimes, it is just an easy task by saying to open a menu or click on a certain button. Other times it can save several clicks by saying to open or close a program. These areas do help, but doing other mouse actions can take a lot more work.

If it is not something that I can specifically say, then I need to go through a grid system saying which numbers or close to what I want selected until the mouse is it the correct object. Frequently, I will take a faster route and just use my stick to click. Dictation is also an item I have used somewhat, such as writing this entry, but accuracy isn't very good. Such as when I said "I have used somewhat," it turned into "I don't know I have your sandwich." It is better if I speak slowly and in short phrases, but that doesn't always do it either.

Programs using memory

I have also noticed that the longer I use the system, the more bogged down my computer seems to get. Doing some investigation, I found that it used a large portion my computer's memory. At one point, it was using as little as 45MB, and after a few days it had gone up to 16GB (1024 megabytes, MB is one gigabyte, GB). I'm not real sure the reason, by shutting down the system and turning it on again fixes the issue. I have started to get in the habit of turning it off when I play some games and then resume it after I'm finished.

For now, it is still a tool I only use occasionally and frequently get frustrated with. Trying to use it for this entry has likely taken longer then if I just typed it. At least it is an option that is available to help living the quad life.

Another Exhausting Week

In late June, my main day nurse had surgery and will not be able to return until the end of the year. I have written about it a few times already, but I have thankfully had regular night nurses. Unfortunately, that was not the case this week.

The scheduler from my nursing agency mailed me in late August to let me know both of my night nurses had requested time off in September. Therefore, I wouldn't have any help September 1-7, a full week. Thankfully, my one caregiver's plans were flexible and he agreed to cover two nights. Labor Day on September 2 was also without day help. In a typical week, I currently have 11 shifts covered. This week ended with only five of the regular filled. Brenda, my college student caregiver, did come for a couple hours two evenings to help with my bedtime cares and allow dad to get to bed earlier.

Multiple days without assistance isn't anything new. I am very fortunate to have as many caregivers as I do and receive so much help. I know another quadriplegic in Iowa who is approved for funding to have 24-hour care at home. That alone is a big hurdle to overcome, but he has very few hours filled with nursing and is primarily just he and his mom. He has told me before that he stays in one place in bed all night while his mom rests and nervously waits until morning, hoping the ventilator and everything stays connected and working.

It is hard to see my parents getting little sleep and getting so tired they get ill. Weeks like this make me consider again about still living at home. Thankfully, this new week should have normal hours covered again and we can be more active.

One positive note came Saturday morning. My evaluation came for my sermon last week and I received 90%. The primary note was that I need to adjust my voice tone more often, something I already know needs improvement. Overall, my final grade for the course was about 89%. After 15 years of not taking formal classes, and a new course of study, it went better than I expected. 

Such is the quad life, I continue to rely on God's provision and give thanks for opportunities He has provided.

Visit Conclusion

I can't remember the last time this happened, but I'm actually writing this week's entry on the day, and even  time, it normally goes out. The last few days have been busy and have not allowed me to write early, but they were good days.

Friday, my friend John came to visit for a few days and brought his oldest son, TJ. It has been a couple years since John came long enough to stay overnight, let alone bring his son. He stopped for a quick day visit last year,but that was it.

TJ is now 11 and old enough to have conversations with, but still plays games. He had an older version of farming simulator on his iPad, so I had fun teaching him farming basics. However, one reason John came this weekend was to hear me preach.

Today was the end of my three week preaching stint and the final assignment for the preaching class I've been taking. I gave the same message last week for practice, but today was recorded and what I will be handing in, if I can figure out how. I think I covered the majority of the requirements, except changing my tone of voice and having a suspenseful pause. I attempted to do more "body movement" than I normally do, but I don't know if it will count. I hope I will get a passing grade at least, but I'm preparing myself to get a bad rating as well.

After nearly 12 weeks of reading books and watching lectures, I'm somewhat glad to be finished. I can't say I learned a lot of new information, but did get a better appreciation of preaching and am more able to look at a passage and prepare a message. If I have more opportunities for similar, I will likely take advantage of them. However, I will give it a few months in order to get further caught up on my reading and personal study.

Living the quad life, I'm thankful for what I've been enabled to do and close friends to share life with. None of us know what a day may bring, but the past few have been fun. Now, I start a new week with hardly any nights covered and a day empty as well.

A Well-Used Bible

Most weeks are relatively similar with not much change. However, big changes can occur quickly as well and make us stop and reflect.

In late November 2019, as most Americans celebrated Thanksgiving, my family finished funeral plans for my last living grandfather. Since then, I have had both of my grandmothers remaining for guidance from their generation. On Wednesday morning, my mom's mother passed away at the age of 94.

Grandma lived ten years after grandpa died, having been married for 63 years. She has looked forward to moving on from this world into her heavenly home for a while, and gave instructions for her relatives on memorial plans.

Therefore, my mom and I have been looking through hand-written notes, with excellent penmanship, of Bible verses and other items. All of these small pieces of paper are contained in a very well-used Bible. Many pages are crinkled and the cover, held together with packing tape, has likely been long detached from the pages it contains. I learned that grandma got another copy of Scripture just a few years ago so the font would be larger and the book more presentable for group study.

It has been said that a well-used Bible lives in the home of a studied Christian. Grandma did know Scripture well, and I can imagine how many hours, likely years, were spent in this copy of God's Word. Through good times, she likely read Psalms of praise, but also gained strength and guidance during troubling situations.

With books available in electronic forms, many people now reference Scripture with the swipe of a finger or clicking a few keys. The text is the same and it continues to offer training and assurance just like printed Bibles. However, something is different and it cannot give the same visual confirmation of use. Living the quad life, I do utilize electronic versions of Scripture, but still look forward to my nightly reading of physical copies and getting my "hands" in God's Word.

Giving part of tomorrow's eulogy is an honor that I had hoped to be blessed to give. However, I give thanks for the life of a Godly grandmother and that she now fully experiences what God told her through a well-used Bible.

Inter-Generational Witnessing Training

Since 2016, I have been volunteering at the Gospel Outreach/Ark Encounter booth at the Iowa State Fair. Each year, I have had the same caregiver come with me. She has become very familiar with the routine and we know what to do. This year, Sara was gone for surgery recovery and I thought I would not be able to volunteer. Thankfully that was not the case and I got to go for two days, but with different helpers.

Friday the ninth was my first day at the fair and my intern nurse, Brenda, came as my assistant. She has helped me some during the spring outreach event, but the fair is an entirely different situation and much busier. As she always has, Brenda adapted very quickly and figured out how to setup my microphone and then volunteered to help put dinosaur sticker tattoos on kids. 

Our three hour shift went well including our restroom break in unfamiliar surroundings. We likely talked with over 100 kids showing that dinosaurs were made on the sixth day of creation week, along with Adam and Eve. I talked with many parents about the Ark Encounter and confirming God's Word as real history. When our time was up, we took a couple hours to explore and I tried to show Brenda a sample of the Fair for her first visit.

Tuesday was my second day and the day that my dad helped. Dad has helped me do many things throughout my life, but a gospel outreach has barely been one of them. Unlike Friday, it took us nearly 45 minutes just to get into the fairgrounds and then to our booth a few minutes late. It took more instructing, but he also figured out my mic system and how to fill my hands with gospel tracts. Dad was a little more hesitant on helping with sticker tattoos, but he also helped and at one point was one of three people applying tattoos to throngs of waiting children.

Therefore, my first day was training someone that could be my daughter (if I had been blessed with kids in late teens/early 20's). The second day was working with my dad, so two different generations helping with the same task. I'm thankful to be able to live an active quad life and all the help God has given me. It was also nice having younger legs for a day that didn't mind going up large hills.

Next year, I don't know what God will bring or what situation I will be in. Whatever the case will be, I hope to continue to serve and doing more outreach.

When Online Meets Reality

For the past few months, I have been going through an online course about expository preaching. I have completed my three book quizzes and observations of the assigned text, but it is now crunch time. I need to write my sermon manuscript and get it evaluated so I can preach it on September 1 for my final assignment and hopefully complete the course successfully.

The weeks have gone by quickly and I am feeling much more stress than usual in preparing this message and covering all the required points. Therefore, for breaks while I'm flat, I have been watching someone who goes by the name "FarmerCurt95." Curt plays various games on the Twitch platform and provides some humor, as well as occasional annoyances. If he or his friends get out of line in their speech, I'm usually the one to point it out and correct them. I have watched Curt, and co-horts, for a few years and we somewhat know each other.

Curt lives in South Dakota, but comes to my area of Iowa for a few days every year to watch sprint-car racing. Last year, we concluded that we should try to meet in person sometime when he came back. Well, that happened on Thursday at a local coffee shop.

Meeting with someone you've only previously known virtually is somewhat fun and awkward at the same time. Most conversations relate to whatever game is being played and offering helpful hints, like slowing down and not running vehicles into objects. Other topics do arise though and the group knows I'm a Christian and quadriplegic with extra standards and challenges.

I was somewhat concerned about what we could discuss in person, but I talked more about my history and heard what Curt and his girlfriend do in their area. I was not silent about faith and gave them a few comical gospel tracts that also present the need for repentance and trusting in God alone. I was prepared for an in-depth conversation, but they took everything well. As this blog comes out, Curt and his group of seven should be heading home.

Living the quad life often means few friends or social interaction. However, utilizing various forms of social media have expanded possibilities. I pray I can continue to be a Christian influence in any circumstance and share enjoyment in some activities. Now, it's time to return to sermon preparations.

Do I Decide when to Wake Up?

Living the quad life means relying on various service providers. It seems that most, if not all, require regular question sessions. For my night nurses, their company supervisor visits every 60 days to go over my medical needs. The same happens with the person that officially supervises my day-time providers, who also comes every other week for monitoring. This past Thursday, I had my annual interview with the Medicaid representative.

No matter the length between sessions, very little tends to change. My medications may adjust slightly, but that's about it. Therefore, it would make sense to primarily copy the previous answers from my last interview. Unfortunately, not much in the medical field goes with common sense and the same questions are asked almost every time.

Thursday, some of the inquiries were about how much I do for household chores. I have yet to figure out how to roll up to a window and have a long enough stick in order to clean it. Vacuuming is also a job that power wheelchairs have yet to master. I suppose that a battery powered suction unit could be attached as well as a place to hold debris, but I haven't gotten around to inventing it. Therefore, I had to say that I don't do any household cleaning.

This particular interview also seemed to ask a lot about my mental abilities. I'm not sure if they think I'm old enough to start losing my acuity, but it was a source of several queries. One question was if I choose when to wake up. That morning, I had to have my night nurse get me up before he left and I did not have anyone during the day. Getting up at 6:30 in the morning what isn't really what I would have decided, but it is what was necessary.

After an hour long interview, everything was complete and the answers will be evaluated to determine what level of care I need. Hopefully nothing will change, or I may end up like last year with a decrease in hours that then needs corrected. Thankfully, I should have about a month until my next evaluation. At least they don't require much studying before hand!

Who is in Control?

Over the past few weeks, we have seen news stories about changes in the world around us. First, we had a presidential debate where the current President clearly showed he did not know what was going on around him. Then, there was the attempted assassination of former President Trump. Next, President Biden resigned from running for reelection. Most recently, the opening of the Olympics mocked the Lord's supper and drag queens were shown dancing with children.

Some people have been perplexed at the rate of change and are wondering who is in control of the United States and what is going on in the world? It is no secret that the last 15 or so years have seen a drastic shift away from conservative values and more toward Marxism and sexual freedom.

For the past four years, many have speculated that president Biden is not in control of the country and is just a figurehead. We still don't know who has been giving directions, but it was made obvious during the debate it isn't him. This has resulted in the latest withdrawal for a presidential candidate in history. Even though she has not received any official votes, it is presumed the wildly unpopular and very liberal Vice President Harris will now be the nominee.

In Romans 1, we read what happens to a nation, or people, that are under God's judgment. For a few generations, the western world has rejected God by saying everything exists just by chance and that life is just an accident and not special. These areas of thinking have resulted in evolutionary teaching as fact and abortion killing millions of babies in the womb. For this, God has given many over to a debased mind with the spread of homosexuality, transgenderism, and all the associated problems with these movements. The display at the opening of the Olympics is a sign of the age.

Revelation 17:14 and 19:16 reminds us that God is the King of kings and Lord of Lords. Everyone will answer to Him upon our death and He rules over all of creation. Christians need to be bold in exclaiming Christ and His law to show the need for repentance. This is our only, and best, assurance we can ever have and know that whatever happens in the world, God is in control.

Friday Exploration

Another Friday has come and gone, which means further adventures on the roads of southeast Iowa. I have heard many tales, but none too tall, about a few places my parents visit in the tiny towns of Douds and Cantril. I visited them both once before, but they were part of our trip this week.

According to my watch, Douds, IA took just over an hour to reach after leaving home. The town doesn't boast much for tourist attractions except for one restaurant, the Lunch Box Cafe.

Image from Google

The Cafe is only open three days a week and the person who greets you, and takes your order, is Pastor Phil. He has been preaching for 40 years to a small congregation that meets over three miles down a dusty rock road. However, he remembers names and greeted dad, by name, even after a few months away.

Parking by a table in a corner, waiting for our order, I looked around and let my eyes feast on a smorgasbord of signs and nick-knacks. Some had political messages, while others denoted unique events in history. One said that on that spot long ago a one-time event happened in history, a husband won an argument. After dining on our cuisine, and getting acquainted with the Pastor, we headed further east to the Dutchman's Store in Cantril.

It had been about two years since my last visit, but it hadn't changed much and was still a very unique store. Several small shops have been purchased over the years and morphed into one building that now covers an entire block. You can get everything from clothing, fabric supplies, toys, books, and a plethora of grocery items that aren't available elsewhere. The area has a large number of Amish and the store carries merchandise of interest for them as well. We picked up several items on our list, as well as a few extras, before returning west.

Last week Friday, I had an all-day meeting that dad accompanied me to and didn't allow for shopping. Therefore, we stopped at three more stores before finally returning home nearly ten hours after we left. It was a long day of adventure that included two nights (Friday and Saturday) without a nurse. Saturday was a tired day in the quad family life with today not much better. Next time, we have noted to curtail our stops if we head out to locations further away.

Learning Hybrid Control

Last week, I had my annual visit to the dentist. The dental hygienist said everything looked good, but the dentist had a concern. After an x-ray, his thought was confirmed that one of my front teeth is absorbing the root. This is the same thing that happened in 2019 when I finally ended up with an implant in spring 2020.

For now, all is fine as I'm not having any pain. However, I'll likely need more intervention by next year if nothing changes. The doctor said my tooth problem is probably due to decades of using my mouth stick and having extra wear. Therefore, I've taken up a project to learn a hybrid approach for computer control.

Apple computer's operating system has voice control built-in, I just haven't used it. After my appointment, I briefly read about the voice option and activated it. Since then, I have been attempting to use it for regular tasks and decrease my stick use.

So far, I've used it to open and close programs, some mouse work, and dictation. Programs have done pretty well, but some that I regularly use don't seem to register. Reading is easier as I can just say "scroll down" and it automatically moves. Dictation isn't as bad as I expected, but still not great.

Trying to learn voice software while doing school work is not the best idea. Saying short phrases are better, but not single words. Trying to delete words sometimes works, but I often resort to just correcting with my stick. 

An issue we're learning though is to pay attention to what I say. Using a voice monitor, my parents hear me say scroll down, they hear I need to go down. So, I'm trying to pronounce more clearly and ask for help with more volume. I also need to drink more, which causes other needs.

Living the quad life has unusual challenges. I hope this hybrid method will help my teeth, but I don't see me completely switching to voice, at least not yet.

Independent and Dependent

A few days ago, America celebrated Independence Day. On July 4, 1776, the Declaration of Independence was ratified and signed. It declared the 13 US colonies to be free from rule of any other country and govern itself. One of the original intentions of this new nation was to allow freedom of religion, and not to have one belief forcibly put on citizens.

Many of the guides written in the constitution were based on Christian principals and that all people were endowed with certain right by their Creator. One pastor was concerned about a particular Christian denomination would be required, but a letter by the President guaranteed the government would be separate from the church. This worked well for over a century, but it has been changing over the last few decades.

As Darwin helped popularize evolution, the church slowly lost influence in the US and other countries. If life was just random and a lucky accident, it wasn't important and could be done away with. Therefore, the rise of abortion and euthanasia followed as well as no longer following God's rules for marriage. Now, instead of being independent from foreign rule, America wants to be independent from God.

Public education that once included Bible reading, now does not let a divine foot in the door. Instead it teaches the opposite and reinforces that life isn't special and to do whatever makes you happy. Workers that actually work are getting harder to find as young people feel they are just owed an allowance.

Just as the Old and New Testament shows, countries that rejected God were soon rejected by Him. Romans 1 gives an example of what society looks like when this happens and looks very familiar to the modern world. May we remember that it is through God that we live, move, and have our very being. It is due to His grace alone that we have air to breathe and even our next heart beat.

I pray that God will sen His workers out into the world, including the quad life. It is only be remembering or dependence on God that we will be able to stay independent of oppressive rule.

The New Schedule Begins

I posted a few weeks ago that my main day-time caregiver would be having surgery and be gone for recovery up to six months. Sara's procedure was on Wednesday and went well. I pray her recovery period goes well also, but my new caregiver schedule has started.

Thursday afternoon, one of my infrequent caregivers came to stay with me for a few hours. She doesn't do anything major like suctioning, but can help with putting me up and down in bed. Therefore, she came after lunch which allowed mom to go to her office and work on paperwork. Dad also stayed in the morning to do some of my needs before going to work and returning at 4:00 for more cares. It's a hybrid system that works and allows everybody to do what is needed. The same scenario, with different afternoon help, will repeat four more Thursdays in July and August.

Friday is generally the day when dad can get off work so he and mom can run errands and have their "date day" of sorts. Without Sara, it means I need to tag along with these outings to supply the household and just get out a while. Therefore, late Friday morning, the three of us ventured an hour east to Ottumwa and arrived around lunch.

Since Ottumwa is also a train town, we picked up fast food and ate by the tracks. Unfortunately, Friday was yet another day of thunderstorms and heavy rain. The best place to park was under a bridge as we dined on garlic bacon cheeseburgers from Sonic (which I highly recommend, along with a breath enhancer).

After lunch, we drove to our first destination of the Aldi grocery store. I've heard many tales of red bag chicken and other delicacies from Aldi, but have only visited a few times. Unfortunately, the downpour continued while we sat contemplating our next move. After several minutes, the deluge decreased

enough that dad could get everyone out of the van without getting completely soaked, just mildly wet. I followed my parents around the store, making occasional suggestions for items to purchase. After visiting the dairy section, one portion of the master list was complete and we could move on to other retail establishments.

Thankfully, the rain had now stopped and it was much easier to get in and out of the van. We moved on to Walmart and another grocery store before the list of needed items was mainly complete. Our group returned home about five hours after we departed. Once I had laid flat for a while and had supper, I spent the late evening with my regular Friday activity of updating church bulletins.

Thus, living the quad life has times that are needed to adapt. Other than a few Fridays when I have meetings, this will likely be a similar scenario for several months. I like getting out in summer, but hopefully we'll have a warm fall into November. More adventures will come, but I'm sorry my parents don't get time alone.

Back to School

I graduated from high school in 2000 and college in 2003. After earning my Associate's degree, I took a break from school for a couple years before returning to work toward a Bachelor's degree. Unfortunately, health problems and school availability prevented me from finishing. However, I also took a few online courses of creation apologetics and outreach.

Therefore, it has been at least 15 years since I have taken any type of formal classes. The bug has often gnawed at me to take a course in something, but I didn't let it bite. Well, that has changed and I can now say I am a student once again.

In a few days, my main caregiver will work her last day until near the end of the year. That means I will likely have a lot of extra time laying around in bed. Other than binge on YouTube, I signed up for a 12-week course from The Expositor's Academy. I applied last week Saturday and received my approval on Monday. Since then, I have watched five of the half-hour lectures and started reading one of the required books.

Normally, I prefer physical books that I can see and touch. However, that requires someone setting up my book board, putting clips in various configurations, and then clipping pages as I progress. It works, but I need to have help and I try not to make my parents come back and forth that often. Fortunately, I was able to get two of the three books electronically so that I don't need extra help. Now, I just have to read them.

The next item on my list is a book quiz, but I can't tell anything beyond that. Therefore, I presume I need to read the entire book before continuing. It feels odd just to sit here and read when I have work to do, but it is what's required.

My schedule says I need to be finished by September 10. I'll need to figure out how to do my final preaching assignment, but I have ideas for that. So, I'll see if this old quad can learn new tricks, but I have enjoyed it so far. Hopefully assignments will be kind, but I'll find out soon and test my memory.

Five Years

Today is Father's Day in the US. Many dad's will be getting cards, grilling, and be doing various activities they enjoy. I'm very thankful for the dad, and mom, that God gave me. For all my life he has helped through my needs and continues to work full-time even beyond retirement age so that I can keep insurance. I am blessed to have him, but the day set aside for his appreciation is one we haven't given much attention.

This day also marks the first full day for CHAMP Camp. I started attending camp in 1993 as an eleven-year-old camper. After seven summers as a camper, I graduated from high school and moved up to counselor. I enjoyed many years helping with the kids and marked my 15th summer of volunteering in 2019. Unfortunately, that year was very hard on me physically and I knew it was time to retire. Little did I know at the time, but camp did not meet in person the next two years due to COVID. I volunteered as a virtual counselor in 2021, but that's the last time I volunteered for camp.

Even though it has been five years, I still miss it and getting to help the campers and reconnect with friends. Yesterday, I saw pictures from a few friends as counselors arrived at camp for orientation before campers arrive today. One photo showed a table completely covered with every kind of snack food you could want. I remember many times sitting around the table listening to stories, telling some, playing board games on down times, and getting a sugar high. By the end of the week, it looked like every package had been sampled, but we still had an abundance to share.

Sometimes, I wonder if I could try to volunteer again. I know that non-medical volunteers have been greatly decreased since 2020, but it doesn't hurt to try. However, then I remember how absolutely miserable I felt in 2019 and would have to find different helpers for the week.

Whatever happens, I'm thankful for the years I was able to enjoy camp and almost forget that living the quad life is abnormal. The campers and counselors that attend now get to experience much of the fun I had, but now my dad also gets to have a break and observe his day. I never know what another year, or day, will bring and I appreciate all that God has blessed me with in so many ways.